The Snappers Golf League is considering following the Washington Redskin’s example in ‘retiring’ their longtime nickname and logo.
Redskins owner Daniel Snyder has said for decades that he wouldn’t change the team name because it wasn’t a racist slur, and blamed what he called, “the whitey cracker corporate sponsors” for finally making him cave.
In the amateur men’s golf league world, Majestic Snappers president and founder, Ricky “Snapper” Carlson says he wants to get ahead of the cancel culture curve by changing the league’s name before members are denied beer purchases for being speciests.
Protesters have started to gather outside the golf course holding signs that say, “Turtle Lives Matter”; “Stop Symptomatic Turtlism”; and “The word ‘Snappers’ is a derogatory slander against a turtle species that only wants to be left alone, but was given a name in the form of a violent verb because it uses it’s large bony beak and strong bite to defend itself from inebriated golfers wielding tees.”
Admittedly, that was a large sign and was carried by a woke and unemployed white liberal with a 6-figure student loan debt and a Marine Biology degree.
“I didn’t name the f&#king turtle species, I just named the golf league in honor of them,” insisted Snapper, who adopted the hurtful moniker. “We mean no harm to the Snappers. Hell, we even have their protection written into our rules…”
10. For safety reasons, please do not play with the wildlife under any circumstances. This would include box turtles, as well as Snappers. This rule also prohibits side wagers involving wildlife like “closest chip to the woodchuck for a buck”.
Before my brother (Snapper) broke with tradition, I (DaBlade) decided to see for myself whether the term “Snappers” was offensive. I knew asking a turtle wouldn’t help much, so I decided to ask a Native American whether he found the term “Redskins” offensive and then just extrapolate from there.
I felt good knowing I was doing my part to prove our league was not racist or speciest in the least, so I drove all night to a South Dakota Indian Reservation for the Lakota tribe. It was the middle of the day, so I assumed I would find the tribe elders outside of the liquor store.
After a long talk and a few shared swigs with Chief Firewater, I was assured that the Indians on this reservation didn’t give a plug wooden nickel about the whole Washington Redskins name. And then he shocked me by doing one better when he introduced me to the tribe’s Medicine Man, “Crazy Snapper”.
So in conclusion, is the name, “Redskins” offensive, and should the Snappers change their name to The Greenskins Golf League? (“Greenskins” after the popular money games played, and NOT referring to the turtle’s pigmentation).
Here’s a look at other golf teams who may or may not decide to make changes soon.
Walks With Foot Wedge
So Sioux Me
The Drunkin Wankers
Shoshome pic pics