[Golf Sheet / FINAL STANDINGS – 9/4 Results]<-click

LINK FIXED (REFRESH)
[SCORES by week 2025 (the good, bad & ugly)]<-click

UPCOMING…
WHAT: [YEAR-END OUTING downloadable pdf]<-click

WHERE: ATLAS VALLEY GOLF CLUB
8313 PERRY RD, GRAND BLANC 48439
WHEN: SUNDAY SEPTEMBER 14, 2025
9:00am (check in); 9:57AM 1ST TEE TIME

IN THIS ISSUE: Results from the final week and a Beer Babe year-in-review. Scramble Teams announced at the end of post.

CONGRATULATIONS TO THIS YEAR’S LEAGUE CHAMPIONS, PAUL CROW & KEITH BROWN!

CUDOS  (FINAL WEEK):

LOW ACTUAL: PAUL CROW  “38”

LOW NET:  STEVE M & CAM  “35”

GREENIES:  STEVE M (no one hit the other green) 

5—HOLE:  STEVE M

TEAM SKIN:  WOLF/JWOLF 2 week carry #10

Blade’s Slice:

The 38^th Snapper Season is in the books, and what a memorable one it was! As noted, this was the first year where no additional funds were collected for prize money, therefore there was no budget for actual prizes. HOWEVER, there is room for VIRTUAL BALLS & PRIZES! Let me know if I missed anything.  ENJOY!!

The Final Majestic Beer Babe of the Week tally as follows: Based on sheer number of wins, we have a tie between Chelsea and Lizzie with 3 wins each. Thanks to all of the ladies and there efforts at keeping us hydrated throughout the year.

• Chelsea 5/8, 6/5, 7/10
• Josie 5/29, 6/19,
• Lizzie 6/5, 7/31, 8/14
• Malyna 6/5, 6/26,
• Sadie 5/15
• Sophia 6/12, 8/14
• Brooke 8/7

It is worth re-playing the completely original song I wrote in one of your sister babe’s honor last year (and not to be confused with any Bob Seger tune). Let it be a MBBOTW anthem!

♫ Off a long and gruesome fairway ♫
♪ Deep in 4-foot straw ♪
♬ You can listen to your partner ♬
♫ Moanin' out his one note song ♫
♪ You can think about the three-putt ♪
♬ On the green you blew the hole before ♬
♫ But your thoughts will soon be wandering ♫
♪ The way they always do ♪
♬ When you're ridin' sixteen over ♬
♫ And there's nothin' much to do ♫
♪ And you don't feel much like golfin' ♪
♬ You just wish the round was through ♬

♫ See here I am ♫
♪ At the beer cart again ♪
♬ There I am ♬
♫ thirst to assuage ♫
♪ Here I go ♪
♬ Ordering a Blue again ♬
♫ There I go ♫
♪ Turn to Paige... ahhh! ♪

AND FINALLY…

The 4-man Scramble teams have been selected based on season average / handicap. All 16 participants were seeded from 1-16 and inserted into pre-draft slots as follows:

TEAM ONE:   1,  8,   9,  16

TEAM TWO:   2,  7,  10,  15

TEAM THREE: 3,  6,  11,  14

TEAM FOUR   4,  5,  12,  13

AND HERE ARE YOUR CURRENT TEAMS (subject to re-draft if there are any cancelations or no-shows. But don’t do that)

TEAM 1 – BRUCE LEACH (3), CHRIS CARLSON (8), MIKE TOMASZEWSKI (8), RICK CARLSON   (15)

TEAM 2 – REY FARAH (5), TIM KACHELSKI (8), PAUL OGINSKY (8), JERRY CARLSON (13)

TEAM 3 – GEORGE OCKERMAN (6), DAVE WOLFENDEN (7), TONY TOMASZEWSKI (9), GLENN SIMMINGTON (11)

TEAM 4 – STEVE PELTIER (7), STEVE MARKUNAS (7), CAMERON BARNETT (9) GRANT STAHLEY (10)

GO SNAPPERS 2025!!!!

[Golf Sheet / Week 16 (September 4, 2025) – 8/28 Results]<-click

• WHAT: [YEAR-END OUTING downloadable pdf]<-click
• WHERE: ATLAS VALLEY GOLF CLUB – 8313 PERRY RD, GRAND BLANC 48439
• WHEN: SUNDAY SEPTEMBER 14, 2025

9:00am (check in); 9:57AM 1ST TEE TIME
(4-man teams to be drafted after this week’s final round)

SBITES  (aka Snapper Bites)

CUDOS :   IT’S “STEVE M. WEEK”…WHY??? Because I didn’t feel like typing  “Markunas” out 5 times…

GREENIES:   STEVE M.  &   STEVE M.

LOW ACTUAL PAUL CROW of course tied by STEVE M. at “40”

TEAM SKIN:  push/carry over but …wait for it……………..

5HOLE: Steve M.

BIRDIES???  Ogi scored 3…Steve M. got 2.. 1 each for sub JR Rouse…JWolf…Crow and Ricky C….I mean Ricky Carlson…

SIDE NOTE:  It is last week for points and  position round …1^st place wire to wire team Crow/Brown can still lose out to 2^nd place Wolf/JWolf on a complete 22 pt sweep or….20- 2 pt whippin for a tie at the top….Every other place is up for grabs including last place where Dablade/Walker are fighting a 3 hole  (6 pt) deficit only.  GOOD LUCK BOYS ….all except you STEVE M. …you used yours up last week.

Blade’s Slice (recycled memes from year’s past)

STAY DRY, AND STAY TUNED FOR THE EXCITING (*yawn*) CONCLUSION TO THE 2025 SNAPPER SEASON!!

GO SNAPPERS 2025 !!!

[Golf Sheet / Week 15 (August 28, 2025) – 8/21 Results]<-click

SBITES  (aka Snapper Bites)

CUDOS :  

GREENIES:  STEVE “SHANG KWAN PHAT” PELTIER started us off on PIGS FLY week with his1^st of the year greenie…)..then MIKE WALKER “ NO NICKNAME YET” followed with a greenie…also his 1^st of the year….

LOW ACTUAL…  NOT CROW but CHRIS CARLSON shot low score of the weeks with “39” but his team did not win the match because SHANG was his opponent and also shot low actual “39”….

LOW NET:  CHRIS CARLSON “30” (neither the low actual nor low net for Chris was a PIGS FLY surprise only that with such a score (playing anyone but CROW/BROWN) he did not win his match and partner CAM scored just fine. Then for our final shocker of the night CROW, who does not rely on handicap and therefore has almost none and therefore usually has no chance for a 5-hole won his 1^st ever with a natural birdie plus a ding ‘’

TEAM SKIN:  push/carry over

BIRDIES??? Yes there were 5 but mostly on CHRIS and SHANG’S card….they each sunk 2  and then as mentioned CROW got 1.

SIDE NOTE: CROW now has the best chance to fill in every line on the weekly sheet sudoku quest fashion needing only an EAGLE  (the league has none yet this year) and  and AOTD.  GOOD LUCK.

Blade’s Slice

From the Snapper Archives – Snappers North 2004
“The Nightmare” in West Branch, Gailes, Seredella and Blackshire @ Lakewood Shores in Oscoda, Red Hawk in Tawas and Huron Breeze in Au Gres

From: Rick “Snapper” Carlson
…Of the many moments that always accompany a Snapper event, there was one I believe worthy of further discussion and I implore you DaBlade to report it to the website for the purpose of same. Not surprisingly, the event in question involved Bill “Pick-Pick?” Cape and Mark “The Assassin” Blevins, each historically skilled at calling undue attention to themselves as we all know.

I had the pleasure of Bill’s company as a cart partner as we approached a lengthy par 3 over what Gary calls Foldergarb, whatever the hell that is @ Red Hawk Golf & Country Club in east Tawas.. Just know, you can’t hit out of it and usually can’t get your ball out of it to drop. Bill of course after just the right number of confident waggles, dribbled his ball into the very front edge just out of play. The question arose: “where to drop and hit the 3rd shot?”. The query was ridiculous according to Bill. Snappers always treat this situation as a good thing, taking their distance where they can and dropping further on down (sometimes well further on down at the opposite end of their actual entry into the “foldergarb”). He cited many examples at Sugarbush and ignored the fact that Tom had made this a posted local rule with signs directing the practice at the near end of the hazard followed by a marked and designated drop zone on the far end of the hazard.

Well, Bill insisted upon driving the cart the additional 150 yards or so to the far end of the hazard to drop and attempt a (simple for most) 10 yard chip to the green before him from there where he knew he could get up and down in no more that 3 -5 additional shots. Understand, we were playing for $$$; $15 buckaroonies apiece per round and the other two foursomes on the course were not available to discuss it at the time. Bill was delighted to discover that there was in fact a designated drop zone marked by a sign and further delighted to hear me curse and exclaim that I did not have a camera at the ready. Perhaps he, and Mark (who was later discovered to have done the identical thing), will be less delighted to discover that while Snapper lacked a camera at the ready to take the picture to the actual sign, that he did not lack the balls or forsight to take the sign to the picture (allegedly).

Let the Snapper website followers decide. Were Bill and Mark correct to have taken their distance and invoked the “quicker you get into the s***, the quicker you can drop on the other side” Snapper practice?

GO SNAPPERS 2025!!!!

[Golf Sheet / Week 15 (August 21, 2025) – 8/14 Results]<-click

SBITES  (aka Snapper Bites)

CUDOS :   CONGRATS  TO THE PAULS ! 

GREENIES:  OGI  & CROW (although CROW’S required 4 step offs the 1^st 3 being too close to call)

 LOW ACTUAL…  WAS IT PAUL CROW   AGAIN  FOR THE 13^th consecutive week????? …NO s ub ART KARDITZ nipped his very fine “40” with his own  “39”

LOW NET:  ART KARDITZ  “34”

5—HOLE:  GLENN SIMMINGTON

TEAM SKIN:  TEAM CROW/BROWN both parred #10 before it was drawn as the lucky skin hole and with a ding scored a league best “7”

BIRDIES??? SURE ….BUT ONLY 1  belonging to ART KARDITZ..he used it to beat CROW out of low actual

PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT:  Our 16 week league season now ends SEPT 4 barring another rainout…

Blade’s Slice:

As Snapper mentions above, the schedule has been extended by one week, with the Position Round now falling on the last week on 9/4, and the lost schedule from the 5/22 rainout moves to the 8/28 slot.

A pair of Majestic Beer Babes this week – Congrats to Sophia, shown here with sub George Ockerman.

…and Lizzie, with cousin Mike.

AOTD: Nomination(s) and dishonorable mentions. Getting to the course last week and just in time to catch the last stretch limo cart ride to the dock – Nobody but Cousin Mike & myself were on this shuttle. I asked Mike, “How was your week?” and he responded with, “Dog gone it, I’ve had a fine week!” I told Mike that was ice cold to say “dog gone” when I had posted on Facebook the day before about my having to say goodbye to my dog,  Zeke. Mike’s defense was that he didn’t do social media and had no idea, and that his remark was innocent. I’m almost gullible enough to buy this, but then I remember that my UncleCousin Jim wouldn’t raise no wallflower without a biting wit – and while I may have been born at night on the back of a turnip truck, it wasn’t last night, and his Aunt2ndCousin Mary didn’t raise no vegetable.  And then the capper… I snapped this on the boat ride to #10 tee.

IYKYK

Dishonorable mention to Steve Markunas, with his callous shouts of “GadZekes!” after a miss hit, and “These sure are dog days of summer” comments peppered throughout the night. No winner after these? How, you ask? No official vote was taken, but that can be rectified tonight.  NOTE: there is no budget this year for any prizes, including balls, so unless a Flying Lady is donated, NO Balls For Youze!

Here is a snapshot of the YTD scores (so far)

Lastly, here is a clip from the Snapper archives from 2001 that official disallows females to golf in the Snapper League. Rules are rules.

“Mary was treated as a pacer, and her score was stricken from the books, as this sad episode comes to a close, and we can all try to get on with men’s golf as best we can. “

GO SNAPPERS 2025!!!!

[Golf Sheet / Week 14 (August 14, 2025) – 8/7 Results]<-click

CUDOS :  

GREENIES:  ART KADITZ & TIM KACHELSKI 

LOW ACTUAL: PAUL CROW  “36”

LOW NET:  PAUL CROW  “35”

5—HOLE:  BLADE

TEAM SKIN:  TONY T & GRANT STAHLEY

BIRDIES??? CROW WITH THE ONLY ONE

Blade’s Slice:

Congrats to Brooke, this week’s MBBOTW!

This is Casey Kasem and it’s time for the American Top 40 long-distance dedication…

Dear Casey,

This goes out to all of those golfers like myself who are having troubles on the green whether they have the shanks, slips, jips or yips. They either get it caught in their skirt and only get halfway – or they muscle it by the hole on its way off the green. And reading the green is as difficult as reading Tolstoy’s War and Peace with dirty glasses. So Casey, please play…

Total Eclipse of the Hole by Bonnie Tyler.
(Turn around)
♫ Every time I putt I get a little bit closer
But it never goes down
(Turn around)
♫ Every now and then the ball speeds past the hole
and runs completely off of the green
♪ (Turn around)
♫ Every now and then I get a little bit terrified
And then I get cigar smoke in my eyes
♪ Turn around, blight eyes
♫ Every now and then I fall apart
And I need you now tonight
And I need you more than ever
♪ And if near the hole you’d lite
Why are you rolling on forever?
♪And I’ll only be making it right
If I only could endeavor
Why can’t I read the line?
♪ My game is like a shadow on me all of the time (all of the time)
Once upon a time, I was putting for bird
But now I’m only chipping for par
♫ What can I do to get
A total eclipse of the hole
A total eclipse of the hole
A total eclipse of the hole

and now from the J Geils Band, Give it To Me
You’ve got to give it to me… Give it to me!
You’ve got to give it to me… Give it to me!

[Golf Sheet / Week 13 (August 7, 2025) – 7/31 Results]<-click

CUDOS :  

GREENIES:  TONY T & PAUL CROW  

LOW ACTUAL: PAUL CROW  “37”

LOW NET:  RICK NORTH  “32”

5—HOLE:  RICK NORTH

TEAM SKIN:  CAM & VINNY (FUHGETTABOUTIT!)

BIRDIES??? THREE OF ‘EM.  ONE EACH FOR KEITH BROWN, STEVE PELTIER & VINNY DEFELICE (SUB).

Congrats to Lizzie, this week’s MBBOTW!

This week’s musical interlude is another 100% original tune that I call…

“Bluderstruck” (any similarities to an AC/DC tune is strictly coincidental)

♫ I was caught ♫

In the middle of a greenside trap (blunder)

♪ I looked ’round ♪

And I knew there was no hitting crap (blunder)

♬ My mind raced ♬

And I thought, what could I do? (blunder)

♪ And I knew ♪

There was no help, no help from you (blunder)

♫ Sound of the hacks ♫

Yapping in my ear

♪ I wonder if I’ll max ♪

Just give me a Beer

♬ You’ve been ♬

♪ Blunderstruck ♪

GO SNAPPERS 2025!!!!

…All aboard, hahahahahaha Ayy

[Golf Sheet / Week 12 (July 31, 2025) – 7/24 Results]<-click

CUDOS :   CONGRATS! 

GREENIES:  RICK NORTH & TIMMY KACHELSKI

LOW ACTUAL: PAUL CROW  “41” (10 OUT OF TEN!) CAN HE SWEEP!

LOW NET:  DAVE & JASON WOLFENDEN   “35”

5—HOLE:  RICK NORTH

TEAM SKIN:  THE WONDERTWIN WOLFENDENS ON #16 – A 3-WEEKER!

BIRDIES??? ONLY TWO. 1 for CAM AND ONE FOR TIMMY K (HIS GREENIE).

TRIPLE BOGIES? YEP. THIRTEEN OF THEM.

AOTD?:  KEITH BROWN (OUR FIRST OF THE YEAR!)

Blade’s Slice:
AOTD: We have a “winner”. Keith Brown wins for… well, for being late I guess? He wasn’t on the beer deck post-round to defend himself, so I have to go off the accuser’s charges uncontested. Apparently, Keith was in his air-conditioned home and was contemplating not showing for golf due to it being too hot outside. Meanwhile, his partner Paul was spotted waiting for him on the deck as the cart limo took the last group to the dock for the pre-round boat ride. According to my sources, Keith did end up showing 25 minutes late. In the history of the league, many Snappers have been late to golf due to work or traffic or any number of reasons beyond their control. This might be the first documented case where the tardiness was a decision. At least you get a free ball for the dubious distinction!

Honorable Mentions (Really? No winner through the first 9 weeks, and now we not only have a winner, but runner-ups?): Glenn Simmington “I’m taking my flag and going home.” . A criminal defense attorney by trade, Glenn found himself on the other side of the law as he was spotted trying to abscond with the hole flag on #16. Walking off the green and back to the cart with his putter, ball and… flag over his shoulder! (somewhere, Nancy Kerrigan can be heard sobbing, “whyyy!?”) Apparently, his opponents had to detain Glenn while they heroically returned the flag to the hole ala Iwo Jima style.

Dishonorable mention goes to Wolf, for rude and discourteous discourse. After I hit the longest drive on #17, (and a full round of missing every single makeable putt) Wolf says, “Nice drive, but you still have to putt it.”

In other News:
Cousin Mike and I are sitting in the cart after finishing the round, with our opponents Wolf and JWolf. (The plan was to form the Last Hole Gallery, since we were first off, but we gave up waiting for the second group after about half an hour). While we are waiting, Cousin Mike notices that father & son Wolf and JWolf are unusually jolly, we assume because of the 20-2 point a## kicking they gave us. In deadpan fashion, Mike asks JWolf, “He’s gonna take you out for ice cream tonight, isn’t he?”

GO SNAPPERS!

[Golf Sheet / Week 11 (July 24, 2025) – 7/17 Results]<-click

SBITES  (aka Snapper Bites)

CUDOS :   CONGRATS! 

GREENIES:  OGI (1^st of year!) &  TIMMY K (also 1^st of year!)

LOW ACTUAL… PAUL CROW  “40” (not 1^st of year but 9^th)

LOW NET:  MIKE T  “34”

5—HOLE:  ALSO MIKE T

TEAM SKIN:  CARRY OVER PUSH ON HOLE “1”

BIRDIES??? SURE ….    2 each for PAUL CROW, MIKE T and TIMMY K!!!

AFTER FIRST ½ of season complete:  NEWBIE TEAM PAUL CROW & KEITH BROWN WERE

RUNNING AWAY  29 pts more than 2^nd place!!! MIKE T & RICK NORTH BROUGHT THEM BACK WITHIN REACH THIS WEEK BUT JUST BARELY at 19 pts ahead

Blade’s Slice:
The Snappers YTD League average by course played as follows. As Ricky told cousin Mike, “The back nine will hurt your feelings.”

In other news: ‘Have you ever seen that before?,’asked Rory McIlroy, after hitting out of rough and launching two balls on one shot at The Open.
What I find ‘striking’ is that, according to the rules of golf, there is no penalty for striking an unseen ball during a stroke, as the second ball is considered a “loose impediment”. Yet there is a PGA rule where a player can be penalized for a ball moving after it has been addressed, even if it was due to natural causes? Weird.

Speaking of rules: I predict that this will now become commonplace in league play where two balls are launched simultaneously, and player claiming the ball with the best result… unless a new rule is adopted that prohibits more than one ball being played per shot (The Rory Rule?)

What I found most disturbing about this story was this:
McIlroy picked the found extra ball up and laughed before tossing it aside.

Just tossed the ball like so much garbage? Is he that rich that he can discard balls at a whim? Does he light his stogies with hunderd dollar bills also? It reminds me of some of those fishing videos, where the sportsman pulls in a 40lb lake trout, only to release him back to the depths after holding it up humiliatingly to the camera. “Found balls” are all I play. UPDATE: There is no evidence that the extra McIlroy ball was a Ram.

And now it’s time for this week’s musical interlude with a 100% original tune that I call… “Snappers of Swing” (any similarities to a catchy Dire Staits tune is strictly coincidental)

♪ You find a Srixon in the rough ♫
♫ Perfect lie after the fluff but meantime ♬
♬ Hit in the river you stop and you drop anywhere ♪
♪ A band is blowing Dixie, double four time
♬ You feel alright when you hit the next one square ♫

♪ We are the Snappers
♪ We are the Snappers of Swing

Lastly, never kiss a Snapper.

GO SNAPPERS!!

[Golf Sheet / Week 10 (July 17, 2025) – 7/10 Results]<-click

SBITES  (aka Snapper Bites)

CUDOS :   CONGRATS! 

GREENIES:  TONY   T (3 in a row!!) &  STEVE  “NOT TONY T”  MARKUNAS……

LOW ACTUAL… PAUL CROW  “33”

LOW NET:  RICK CARLSON   “26”

5—HOLE:  RICK CARLSON

TEAM SKIN:  CARRY OVER PUSH ON HOLE “25”

BIRDIES??? SURE WERE…10 OF EM  WOWSIE….1 for JWOLF…CAM..TONY T…2 for WOLF   …KEITH ..& 4 for PAUL!!!

DOUBLE BOGIES FOR RICKY C?? SURE  3 of em THEN 6 PARS!! HOLY SHIT!!

Congrats to Chelsea, last week’s MBBOTW! (that puts her in the lead for the year with her third win!)

Chelsea 5/8, 6/5, 7/10
Josie 5/29, 6/19,
Lizzie 6/5
Malyna 6/5, 6/26,
Sadie 5/15
Sophia 6/12

GO SNAPPERS!

[Golf Sheet / Week 9 (July 10, 2025) – 6/26 Results]<-click

SBITES (aka Snapper Bites)
CUDOS : CONGRATS! GREENIES: TONY T….& TONY T……

LOW ACTUAL… PAUL CROW “39”

LOW NET: MIKE WALKER “29”
5—HOLE: MIKE WALKER
TEAM SKIN: CARRY OVER WIN FOR MIKE WALKER and JERRY CARLSON

Blade’s Slice: Who Done it?

It was whispered and rumored on the beer deck post-round that Snapper was left at the dock like a groom left at the altar, and helplessly watched from the dock as the pontoon slipped away from the shore towards home – with all aboard except him.

OH THE HUMANITY! Why? Who’s to blame? What happened to that Majestic dock dude, whose only job at that point in time was to safely escort all of the golfers on to the waiting vessel? What was he doing at the time of this tragedy? Stay tuned for the exciting conclusion to this mystery!

Congrats to Malyna, our most recent MBBOTW!

CASTAWAY UPDATE: “we were last group of 4 …all but me loaded up bags..I waited patiently  for my turn to be invited aboard with my golf bag..man bag..accessory bag..

Beer can and phone in hand when Bill 12 inches ahead of me casted off lines..pushed the boat away and waved at everyone on board.”

Say it with me fellas….. A>>>S>>>>S>>>H>>>O>>>L>>>E!

IN OTHER NEWS:

Did you all see the viral video of the golf course hockey fight? See the screen captures below, as this reporter closes in on the mystery man who was thrown into a pond and then beaten in the face by a flurry of punches during a dispute on the course.

Knocked his glasses (and minimal hair) right off the poor fella!

GO SNAPPERS!!