[Golf Sheet / Week 15 Thursday, 08-27-2026]<-click

SBITES  (aka Snapper Bites)

CUDOS : 

GREENIES:   WOLF & CAM congrats

Birdies: ROMO on 26  Shang on 27  BUT  EAGLES?  Yes WOLF on 27 and FUREY on 26  WOW!!

5-HOLE:  CAM  went par par on 5^th and 6^th holes

TEAM SKN :  RICK NORTH and GLENN SIMMINGTON with net “5” on #22

LOW ACTUAL : Let’s just call this DAVE FUREY FUNK BREAKOUT WEEK. NICE “34” actual and “27” net

BEER BABE OF THE WEEK: ?????  WE GOT 2 THIS WEEK.  CONGRATS BROOKE and ANZI for superior service from each.THAT’S ALL I GOT . TAKE IT AWAY BLADE>

CONGRATS BROOKE:

CONGRATS ANZI:

BLADE’S SLICE:

Thanks, Snap! We have a chock full issue this week. We’ve had Snapper Bites. Cudos! Games winners. TWO Beer Babes… That is worth the extra dues collected (which is $0) And yet, THERE IS MORE! Let’s begin with last week’s scores by hole.

And now for the highly anticipated AI-generated haikus teased in the Headline. “Why”, you ask? “Why not?”, I say…

Back in 1988 when this league started, I was sure that we would have flying golf carts by now. Oh sure, we have since reached “the singularity” with Artificial Intelligence, but instead of self-tying sneakers and flying cars, we have AI created memes of Enes Kanter stealing Natasha Cloud’s wig. Still worse, large data centers being built to address AI’s insatiable need for power uses significant amounts of water for cooling (think of the beverage consumption of the average Snapper on a 90+ degree evening).

Per an AI generated search (irony intended) these data centers consume “between 1 million and 5 million gallons per day under peak conditions, which matches the daily usage of a town with 30,000 to 50,000 people.” Is it any wonder why Lake Mead, the reservoir that services Las Vegas, has water levels down 33% due to this high water demand from the Colorado River? At this rate, the only “bones” being rolled in Vegas will be found in the empty alleys along Fremont Street.

BUT HERE’S THE GOOD NEWS! We have AI to generate golf-themed Haikus featuring The Snappers! No need for creative thinking! If we are going to dry up, we might as will go down with ignorant grins. So I entered the necessary prompts, and this was the instantaneous result…

Here are custom 5-7-5 golf haikus for each pair on your list:

1. Snapper & Tony T
   Snapper hooks it left, (5)
   Tony T is in the weeds, (7)
   Both need better luck. (5)
2. Timmy K & Hollywood
   Timmy K chunks shot, (5)
   Hollywood just poses nice, (7)
   Vanish in the pond. (5)
3. Wolf & Jason
   Wolf mutters a curse, (5)
   Jason muffs a easy chip, (7)
   Pack knee deep in mud. (5)
4. C Money & Cam
   C Money is broke, (5)
   Which club will Cam snap in half? (7)
   Deep into fescue.(5)
5. Shang & Ogy
   Shang shanks it way wide, (5)
   Ogy throws his heavy wedge, (7)
   Total golf despair. (5)
6. Blade & Ed
   Blade slices his putt, (5)
   Ed is stuck inside the sand, (7)
   Scores are way too high. (5)
7. Mike T & Rick North
   Mike T slices right, (5)
   Rick North heads south in the pond, (7)
   Goodbye Titleist. (5)
8. Furey & Romo
   Furey whiffs the ball, (5)
   Romo hurls his putter far, (7)
   Time to hit the bar. (5)

I’m not sure why AI insisted on counting the syllables at the end of each line (precious ounces of water lost), but we can rest assured that AI has a good grasp on us and this technology is finally being used for the greater good. And that’s gonna do it for this week. Remember, keep your head down. Especially when I am teeing off.

GO SNAPPERS 2026!!!!

[Golf Sheet / Week 14 Thursday, 08-20-2026]<-click

SBITES  (aka Snapper Bites) CUDOS :            

GREENIES:   SWEEPERS  TIMMY KACHELSKI

Birdies: STEVE MARKUNAS #15 and CHRIS CARLSON  #11 on their 1^st birdies carded for league for the year.   ROMO scored one too but not his 1^st.

5-HOLE:  STEVE MARKUNAS parred it then birdied the next for good measure.

TEAM SKN :  2 week carry over   busted by CHRIS CARLSON AND CAM BARNET  on # 11 with CHRIS putting that birdie I told you about to good use.

LOW ACTUAL WOLF  “40””  and LOW NET???? CMO“35”

BEER BABE OF THE WEEK: ?????

STORY OF THE DAY?????  AS ROBIN WILLIAMS  GETTING WEATHER REPORT  FOR POOTANG ON THE RADIO  IN GOOD MORNING VIETNAM SAID:  “ Its Hot…Damn Hot..Real  Hot…so hot I saw one a dem little guys in orange robes burst into flames”Well it seemed like it anyway as we all tried to launch golf balls into the heavy humid air.

Blade’s Slice

For those of you keeping score, the following is a history of league venues by year:

1988-1995 Tyrone Hills (8 years)
1996-1998 Brookwood (3 years)
1999-2000 Sugarbush (2 years)
2001-2002 Copper Ridge (2 years)
2003-2004 Sugarbush (2 years)
2005-current Majestic (22 years so far)

…and now, this week’s musical interlude (not to be confused with any Motor City Madman tune)

♫ There I was back in the wild again.
♪ I felt right at home, where I be-long.
♫ I had the feeling, coming over me again.
♪ Just like it happened so many times be-fore. eh.
♫ Finding my golf ball in the Woods is like an old good friend.
♪ Makes me feel warm and good in-side.
♫ I knew his name and it was good to see him again.
♪ Cause in the wind he’s still a-live.

Scores by Week

THREE WEEKS TO GO!

GO SNAPPERS 2026!!!!

[Golf Sheet / Week 13 Thursday, 08-13-2026]<-click

SBITES  (aka Snapper Bites) CUDOS :            

GREENIES:   ROMO and  GLENN

Birdies: CONGRATS   ART KARDITZ   holes   5 & 7 and MIKE ROMANOWSKI   hole 9.

5-HOLE:  I just told you ART  birdied # 5 and yes it held up.

TEAM SKN : carry over

LOW ACTUAL : ROMO   “37”  and LOW NET???? ROMO  “35”

BEER BABE OF THE WEEK: ALLIE

AOTD:       None but check this out. 

2 foursomes crossed the pond after finishing #9. The boat ride was relaxing and serene. Fish rose and left surface circles where insects had been moments before.  It was beautiful, quiet, comfortable. Then the full dismount from the boat, strap into the golf cart train and THEY ARE OFF!! Speeding down the path 8 strong plus the driver. Somebody said “I hope we see some wildlife” as the brush whizzed by. Just then 4 adult does, 3 fawns and an 8 pte buck appeared grazing next to our path and left with no choice but to remain there as the brush whizzed by our speeding tandem golf cart as if the driver had a date with the porcelain throne.  But we all saw them. LOOK at that gaggle of deer.  No, it is a flock.. a flamboyance I think, or maybe a pack, a pod, a school, a pride, a mob, someone else said. All good answers, if wrong, and then our Majestic Cart driver (who will remain nameless due to current defamation laws) got the winning response. “SURE LOOKS LIKE A SHITLOAD TO ME!” As we passed the herd at continued thundering speed.

GO SNAPPERS 2026!!!!

Pip: When wildfire smoke cancels your golf league, you know the season has taken a turn — and Majestic Snappers Golf League has the receipts.

Mara: jerrydablade has been keeping the record straight across a stretch of weeks covering canceled rounds, rescheduled dates, birdies, eagles, and at least one very eventful AOTD vote. Let's start with the results from the course — and the one week there wasn't any.

Smoke, Eagles, and a Hard-Won Par

Pip: Three weeks of Snapper golf, and the range runs from a complete cancellation due to wildfire smoke to what might be the most celebrated par in league history — which tells you something about the season's arc.

Mara: The Week 10 post sets the tone right at the top: "GOLF CANCELED FOR TODAY, THURSDAY, JULY 16TH DUE TO THE POOR AIR QUALITY." That's the whole round, gone — though the Snapper Bites still ran, because the awards don't stop for air quality.

Pip: Right — and the AOTD that week practically ran itself. Cameron Barnett, already departed, collected nominations on sheer volume: a 3-wood helicoptered into chest-high fescue, recovered by his partner, followed immediately by the same club launching itself fescue-bound again, this time in two pieces.

Mara: And then the iron, allegedly broken over his partner's head at the end of the round. His partner Chris's defense for every charge was the same two words: "bad day." The vote was called, seconded, and unanimously passed.

Pip: Democracy in action, golf division.

Mara: The Honorable Mention that week went to Timmy K, whose dispute with new guy ED STOLTZ over in-round practice shots escalated to a full USGA citation. ED quoted Snapper Rule Number One verbatim — "PLAY USGA RULES EXCEPT AS HEREAFTER AMENDED" — then cited USGA Rule 5.5. TK could not produce the Snapper rule he claimed existed.

Pip: New guy wins on points. Week 11, titled "Did You See it," is leaner — the scorekeeper was heading out on vacation — but still notes Furey and Romo taking another Team Skin on hole ten, and raises the lingering question of whether anyone counted Cam's clubs at the end of the round.

Mara: There was also a Wounded Snapper update: Mike Walker reportedly played eighteen holes the day before the round. The post notes he did not confirm his score, and the scorekeeper did not ask.

Pip: Week 12, "Blade Got a Par," is where the season pivots to something almost triumphant. Romo shot a bogey-free two-under 34 for the lowest actual score of the year. Shang recorded his second eagle of the season on hole twenty-six.

Mara: And then, as the post puts it: "a more impressive display of raw skill greater than an Eagle, OR a round of 2 birds and 7 pars" — Blade's first par of the year, on the dog-leg fourth. Blind squirrel, the post asks. Maybe. But it got its own song.

Pip: The schedule shift that made all of this possible is worth a quick look on its own.

One Canceled Week, Two Moved Dates

Pip: The Week 10 cancellation didn't just cost a round — it reshuffled the back end of the season, and the Schedule Update post spells out exactly what moved.

Mara: The rule on scheduling, quoted directly: it "shall be considered binding throughout the season" — with the noted exceptions being the July 16th pairings, now moved to August 27th, and the Position Round pushed to September 3rd, extending the season by one week while keeping the sixteen-week total intact. Canadian smoke, meet the rulebook.

Pip: More weeks of golf. Every cloud, apparently.

---

Mara: Canceled rounds, rescheduled dates, a broken 3-wood in two pieces, and a par that earned its own original song — it has been a full stretch at the Majestic.

Pip: Next time, maybe Cam brings a spare club. See you out there.

[Golf Sheet / Week 12 Thursday, 08-06-2026]<-click

CUDOS :                

GREENIES:  Mike Romanowski and Tim Kachelski each scored their third of the year!

5-HOLE:  CONGRATS Paul Oginsky

TEAM SKIN:  #20 was cut. You’re sayin’ there’s a chance?

BIRDIES?  Whatever. WE GOTS US ANOTHER ONE OF THEM EAGLES! Steve “SHANG” Peltier needed only TWO STROKES ON THE #26 par four.  THAT’S HIS SECOND EAGLE this year! Not sure if that has been done before.  Not too shabby, sir!

As for Birdies:  Dave Wolfenden, Mike Tomaszewski, and Dave Furey all had one each.  TWO EACH for SHANG and ROMO.  LOW ACTUAL and LOW NET???? ROMO shot a BOGEY-FREE TWO-UNDER “34” for LOW ACTUAL FOR THE WEEK (AND THE YEAR!) and of course, ROMO with the LOW NET “31”.  Nice shooting, sir!

BLADE’S SLICE: However, a more impressive display of raw skill greater than an Eagle, OR a round of 2 birds and 7 pars, Jerry “Blade” ACHIEVED HIS FIRST PAR OF THE YEAR! It was that stupid fourth hole (#22) dog-leg left that I average north of a double bogey.  Blind squirrel you say?

CONGRATS Reese, you are the honored Beer Babe of the Week!

Today’s musical original (not to be confused with Toby Keith’s I LOVE THIS BAR)

♫ We got winners, we got losers
♪ Chain-smokers and boozers
♫ And we got birdies, we got eagles
♪ Some may not be legal
♫ And the beer girls drive up like movie stars
♪ Hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, Blade got a par!

Welcome back, Snapper!

GO SNAPPERS 2026!!!!

[Golf Sheet / Week 11 Thursday, 07-30-2026]<-click

SBITES  (aka Snapper Bites) CUDOS :

GREENIES:   1^st  sweeper of the year. Shang scored one then nobody hit the other green, Go Shang. Double Up!

5-HOLE:  CONGRATS   ED!  

TEAM SKIN:  #10  FUREY and ROMO again!

Birdies????   MIKE T. on  17, JWOLF on 15. THAT IS IT. Nice goin..wait a minute just found 1 3ach from Ed and SHANG neither important enough to the scorekeeper to circle for my convenience. But I did find them while searching for dots next to the pars on the cards which aren’t there either although often requested oh well Im not bothered I am on vacation. LOW ACTUAL : ROMO   “42”  and LOW NET???? MIKE T  shot 34

AOTD:  NOT THAT I KNOW OF BUT I DID LEAVE A LITTLE EARLY to get a jumpstart on my vacation.   Did anybody count CAM’s clubs at the end of the round?,   How about Timmy’s real score for the round; did anyone ask ED?

WOUNDED SNAPPER UPDATE: MIKE WALKER offered before the week’s round that he had actually played 18 holes the day before. He didn’t say that he finished the holes or what his score was. I assume he finished or he would not have bragged about it. I did not ask about the score.

JUST FINISHED THIS UPDATE AFTER WATCHING ANOTHER GORGEOUS SUNRISE OVER THE ATLANTIC. ONE OF MY FAVORITE THINGS TO DO THIS TIME OF YEAR.  SEE YA WHEN I SEE YA!

Blade’s Slice

Congrats Kara, the Majestic Beer Babe of the Week!

Did you see it? There were reports of a roaming buffalo on the course last week.

GO SNAPPERS 2026!!!!

Blade’s Slice

As you should be aware, League play was canceled for Thursday, July 16th due to “bad air” (which, coincidentally, is the name of my 3-wood). As per the rule regarding the SCHEDULE, it “shall be considered binding throughout the season…” WITH a couple of changes.

1. The scheduled match pairings for July 16th have been moved to August 27th.
2. The season-ending Position Round has been moved to September 3rd and extending the season by another extra week (keeping the 16-week total)
3. I have no idea if the hole assignments have shifted. Let’s grab a beer and find out.

SCHEDULE UPDATE (barring any more Canadian stink)

[Golf Sheet / Week 10 Thursday, 07-16-2026]<-click

GOLF CANCELED FOR TODAY, THURSDAY, JULY 16TH DUE TO THE POOR AIR QUALITY.

SBITES  (aka Snapper Bites) CUDOS :

GREENIES:  JASON WOLFENDEN & PAUL OGINSKI each scored their 1^st of the year

5-HOLE:  CONGRATS   DAVE WOLFENDEN

TEAM SKIN:  #25 was cut with team net “6s” by SHANG/OGI & BLADE/ED

Birdies????  HELL YA IT WAS RAININ BIRDS: Mike T..     Rick North..Wolf….Ogi & Romo all drained 1.. JWolf put down 2 and SHANG scored 3 but still couldn’t beat his own “37” as Romo pointed out even trying to nominate him an AOTD for that but alas no such awards are allowed for simply playing or more rightfully not playing proper golf.

LOW ACTUAL and LOW NET???? WOLF shot 36 for LOW ACTUAL “31” to tie OGI for LOW NET

AOTD: OH YEAH and as is often the case the award winning SNAPPER had already departed the scene. CAMERON BARNETT won well for just having a bad day as his partner put it. There were 5 or 6 nominations  made and heard, but when tallied up and put to a vote  It was noticed that  most of the nominations were made of CAM and someone suggested that he be AOTD on sheer volume of nominations alone. The question was called with little discussion seconded and unanimously passed, Highlights of his “BAD DAY” as Chris called it answering every charge against his absent partner with the same 2 words: His uncooperative 3wood helicoptered into the chesthigh tick infested fescue following his golfball there to be recovered by partner C-MO only to stupidly refuse to direct his golfball where CAM intended it on the very next shot and again launched airborne fescue-bound this time in 2 pieces and once again silently recovered by Chris. Then ROMO felt  mistreated by CAM having stepped on his ball and ground it into the soft sand of the greenside bunker he thought intentionally and uncalled for . ROMO playing the group behind CAM explained the hole is only 225 yards from the green. Finally with the unfortunate 3wood incident well behind him CAM was photographed with a long iron (his approach club of choice at the end of the round) found its way somehow also broken in half this time allegedly over CHRIS’ head. For these reasons congrats CAM you win a golfball.

HONORABLE MENTION : goes to TIMMY K who nominated in the absence of opponent ED STOLTZ who left for home after  a “kiss your sista” 11 pts tie with TK’s team. The alleged offense?  TK was witnessed launching numerous balls into the woods during the round as he always does but this time ED called him out for practicing during the round. TK claimed a par at the end of the hole when ED asked “ what about all the shots in addition into the woods not to mention the 2 stroke rules violation for the first offense and disqualification for more for hitting shots other than chips or putts during the round? TK protested that IT IS A SNAPPER RULE WE CAN DO IT and YOU DON’T KNOW THAT CUZ YOU ARE A NEW GUY! But  TK was unable to cite the rule. Instead new guy ED did citing SNAPPER RULE #1 verbatim “PLAY USGA RULES EXCEPT AS HEREAFTER AMENDED” then he cited USGA RULE 5.5 and the argument was lost to TK who but for CAM’s BAD DAY may well have had his nomination of ED reversed upon himself due to everyone previous to ED having ignored his USGA violation as if it had been a mere CAPE/LAWLESS weed snow angel indiscretion. 

Blade’s Slice

Smoke on the Water (not to be confused with an old Deep Purple tune with the same title)

♫ We all came out to The Majestic
♪ On the great Lake Walden shoreline
♫ To play golf in air pollution
♪ We didn’t have much time
♬ Papa Snapper and the Mothers
♪ Were at the best place around
♪ But stupid Trudeau and poor Canadian forest management
♬ Burned his place to the ground
♪ Smoke on the water, a fire in the sky
♬ Smoke on the water

Congrats to Chelsea and Anza for superior beverage service!

Don’t forget to tip your waitress, and don’t forget to hydrate today!

GO SNAPPERS 2026!!!!

[Golf Sheet / Week 9 Thursday, 07-09-2026]<-click

MAJESTIC CANCELED LEAGUE GOLF 7/2

SBITES (aka Snapper Bites)

CUDOS :
GREENIES: DAVE FUREY & ART KARDITZ

5-HOLE: CONGRATS SNAPPER

TEAM SKIN: #15 was cut with team net “9s” by CMO/CAM & SNAPDADDY/T

Birdies???? Yep…1 for ROMO..1 for ART

EAGLES: ???? as the GHOSTBUSTERS telephone receptionist said when they got their 1st job : WE GOT ONE!!!!!!
SHANG on # 2 carded a “2” ask him about it.

LOW ACTUAL and LOW NET???? WOLF shot 39 for LOW ACTUAL the 3rd time this season DABLADE finished tabulating (carry the 1 multiply by 2 oh wait there’s another stroke) then subtracted his “20” handicap and WAH LAH! “31” Nice JC
AOTD: NOPE NOT THIS WEEK.

Blade’s Slice

As you should be aware, League play was canceled for Thursday, July 2nd due to the “Heat Dome” (which would be a good nickname for Timmy). As per the rule regarding the SCHEDULE, it “shall be considered binding throughout the season…” WITH a couple of changes.

1) The scheduled match pairings for July 2nd have been moved to August 20th.
2) The season-ending Position Round has been moved to August 27th and extending the season by one extra week (keeping the 16-week total)
3) The starting hole assignments are not tied to our matches and will not shift (per The Majestic).

UPDATED SCHEDULE

Congrats to Emma, the current Majestic Beer Babe of the Week.

And now a snapshot update from the Big Bear Bald Eagle Cam. Who took Sandy the eaglet?

♫ Thursday evening 5 PM
♪ I saw fire in the sky
♫ I felt my heart pound in my chest
♪ I heard an eagle cry

Have a great Fourth of July!

GO SNAPPERS 2026!!!!

[Golf Sheet / Week 8 Thursday, 06-25-2026]<-click

SBITES  (aka Snapper Bites)

CUDOS :     

GREENIES:  WOLF & SHANG

5-HOLE:  CONGRATS   ART KARDITZ

TEAM SKIN:  FUREY & ROMO (who now have 30 7 weeks skin$$$)

Birdies????  Yep…1 for ART 1 for ROMO  and 2 for SHANG

LOW ACTUAL and LOW NET???? Speaking of SHANG he carded both of these honors  with 38/33

AOTD: NOPE NOT THIS WEEK. WOLF WAS EXTRA CAREFUL TO FIND HIGH GROUND.

WOUNDED SNAPPER UPDATE: MIKE WALKER who fractured about 50 of the total 27 bones found in the human hand just prior to the season’s start is beginning week 3 of what  appears may be a 52 week recovery. But it is feeling better. Just maybe not strong enough to grip a 9 iron squeeze and pound a golf ball. I told him if he is looking for something else to pound  (no don’t go there)  he should come out and pound a beer or 2 with us on league night.

BEER BABE OF THE WEEK:    KARA CONGRATS     

Blade’s Slice

Shang haf velly nice reek rast reek wif row and net scoah, two birdie and one gleenie, so in honah of Shang is this Rimlick…

There once was a Snapper named Shang
Who hit the ball with a bang
The problem, said Romo
The ball wasn’t always his owno
But that’s good enough for the girls in Huang

You’re welcome. Fear not, there will be no surcharge on your League fees for this weekly professional prose.

Last week I teased a new video game in production that was inspired by our own Dave Wolfenden and his Indiana Jones-type antics on the golf course. Here is the latest screenshot…

GO SNAPPERS 2026!!!!