[Golf Sheet / Week 3 Thursday, 05-21-2026]<-click

“If I have seen further it is by standing on the shoulders of Giants”.
Isaac Newton (who discovered gravity playing golf)

SBITES  (aka Snapper Bites)

CUDOS :  

GREENIES:  TIMMY K and SHANG each shagged one.  WAY TO GO!  HOW YOU LIKE THAT TEE BOX ON #16 TK?

  We have never seen that one before and maybe never will again. What was it 108 yds????

 5-HOLE:  This went to SHANG who  is just getting used to those old man tees.

TEAM SKIN!  Not this week. The Wolfendon’s two “4”s  plus dings was cut by CAM & CMO’s 5 and 3 with dings.

Birdies????  Yep…. 1 for  CHRIS on #10 the one I just told ya about.  TK got one on 16…..Shang on 18  (from the gold tees by the way )…. And two for DAVE WOLFENDEN.  Speaking of WOLF did I mention he got low actual and low net last week????  Well he did it again this week. NICE 37 actual.

ASSHOLE OF THE DAY?   Nope.

BEER BABE OF THE WEEK  Congrats to Avery

Blade’s Slice:

Dean Martin sings about the cold temperatures we’ve had the first few weeks of the season, and trying to convince the beer girl to stay with his group for the rest of the round…

♫ I really can’t stay (But, baby, it’s cold outside)
♬ I’ve got to go away (But, baby, it’s cold outside)
♫ So very nice (I’ll hold your hands, they’re just like ice)
♪ My boss will start to worry (Beautiful, what’s your hurry?)
♫ The next group will want to wet their beak (Don’t you want to be Beer Babe of the Week?)
♪ But maybe just a half a drink more (go tee off while I pour)

And to close out my dedication to Frank Sinatra…

“Fairway” (not to be confused with “My Way” – though I didn’t change much 🙂

♫ And now, the end of the round is near
♬ And so I face the final curtain (last whole gallery)
♫ My friend, I’ll say it clear
♪ I’ll state my case, of which I’m certain
♫ I’ve golfed a round that’s full
♪ I traveled each and every trap and waterway
♫ And more, much more than this, I missed the fairway

♫ Regrets, I’ve had a few
♪ But then again, too few to mention
♪I did what I had to do (foot wedges)
♪ And saw it through without exemption (pic pic?)
♫ I planned each charted course
♬ Each careful step along the byway
♪ And more, much more than this, I missed the fairway

♫ Yes, there were times, I’m sure you knew
♪ When I bit off more than I could chew
♪ But through it all, when there was doubt
♫ I ate it up and spit it out
♪ I faced it all and I stood tall and missed the fairway

♬ For what is a man, what has he got?
♪ If not himself, then he has naught
♬ To say the things he truly feels
♪ And not the words of one who kneels
♪ The record shows
♪ I took the blows
♬ And missed the fairway

♪ Yes, missed the fairway

GO SNAPPERS 2026!!!!

[Golf Sheet / Week 2 Thursday, 05-14-2026]<-click

SBITES  (aka Snapper Bites)

WELCOME BACK TEAM DAVE FUREY and MIKE ROMANOWSKI!!!  IT IS LIKE YOU NEVER LEFT!

We now have an even number of teams again (until  Mike Walker returns.  Wounded Snapper Update. YEA THAT’S RIGHT HE MAY HAVE BROKEN EVERY BONE IN HIS HAND, WRIST, FOREARM AND WHATEVER ELSE BUT IN HIS OWN WORDS;

I’M GONNA BE BACK!

CUDOS :      

Our 1^st BEER BABE OF THE WEEK – Congrats Emerson!

GREENIES:  Cameron Barnett and Glenn Simmington .  WAY TO GO!

 5-HOLE:  This went to Dave Furey who won on the 1^st carry over with a par  on # 6. OGI…

TEAM SKIN:  Steve Markunas and Glenn Simmington won with 2 pars and 2 dings on the par 3 # 4,…..nice job boys!  Birdies????  Yep…. 1 for  each Tomaszewski Brothers

ASSHOLE OF THE DAY?   No we don’t do that anymore apparently. Ahh But not so fast.

I HAVE TO ADMIT TO HAVEMISTAKENLY NEGLECTED MY DUTY TO NOMINATE WHAT I BELIEVE YOU WILL ALL AGREE IS  A DESERVING CANDIDATE LAST WEEK. Since you would all agree I am making this our first AOTD award of the year by official proclamation. RICK NORTH wins the award for apparently attempting unsuccessfully to swindle himself. I mean what else do you call placing $596 cash into an envelope, sealing it and writing his name and the amount contained inside as   “ $ 296”? SNAPPER rightly inquired without opening the envelope when he intended to pay the rest. How much is it he asked. $592 I answered. Keep the change as a tip he exclaimed. Completely confused the envelope was opened to indeed  reveal  the money was indeed all there (not just the $296 claimed) including the $4 over payment. I tied  to give him his $4 and Rick said no it’s a tip. Me thinks it was a bribe attempt to avoid AOTD NOMINATION.

Blade’s Slice

Here is the full 2026 REVISED SCHEDULE (until another team is added).

This week’s musical interlude is another 100% original tune that I call…
“That’s Golf” (any similarities to a Frank Sinatra tune is strictly coincidental)

♫ That’s golf (that’s golf)
♪ That’s what all the Snappers say
♫ You’re riding high in April, shot down the first Thursday in May
♪ But I know I’m gonna change that tune
♫ When I’m back on top, back on top in June
♪ I said that’s golf (that’s golf)
♫ And as funny as it may seem
♪ Some people get their kicks
♫ Stomping on a dream (Thanks Wolfs!)
♪ But I don’t let it, let it get me down
♫ ‘Cause the beer babe keeps comin’ around
♪ That’s golf

BONUS BLUE EYES MEDLEY!
“Fly Me To The Moon”
♫ Fly me to the moon
♪ Let me play among the stars
♫ Let me see what golf is like
♪ Not on Jupiter but Mars (because, as Timmy always says, “the gravity on Jupiter is more than 2.5 times Earth’s but Mars is just 38%”)

The Way You Look Tonight
♪ One hole, when I score awfully low,
♪ When the round is shot,
♪ I will feel a glow just thinking of brew,
♪ And the way brew looks tonight. (they can’t all be gems)

GO SNAPPERS 2026!

Here. We. Go!

[Golf Sheet / Week 1 Thursday, 05-07-2026]<-click

Blade’s Slice:
Here is the Week 1 Sheet in the link above (unless something changes)

The full schedule (so far)… I don’t know the starting holes per week but will update when that info comes my way. the schedule is a round robin for 7 weeks then a position round on week 8. This is repeated with a few tweaks for the next 8 weeks for 16-week schedule.

Snapper Bites:
This is what we have now until I am told otherwise:
2026 League Roster for Majestic:

1. Rick Carlson & Tony Tomaszewski
2. Tim Kachelski & Steve Markunas
3. Dave Wolfenden & Jason Wolfenden
4. Chris Carlson & Cameron Barnett
5. Steve Peltier & Paul Oginski
6. Jerry Carlson & Ed Stotz & Mike Walker
7. Mike Tomaszewski & Rick North
8. Bye

We now have 15 league members ie “SNAPPERS” with 6 two man teams and 1 three man team. Cousin Mike Walker fell and fractured his wrist about 4 weeks ago and while he intends a full recovery and comeback sometime this season, Chris managed to arrange for a friend of his to partner with Jerry. Last season Champs Team CROW/NORTH have left us after a single season. Should any of you have another two man team to join us let me know. Otherwise we will have a weekly BYE rotating and do the blind scorecard draw at the end for points as we have in the past with uneven number of teams.

As always I have contracted with the golf course for a 16 week schedule. I have advised the MAJESTIC that we will start the season on 5/7/2025. Barring cancelation for weather our last week of league golf will be Thursday, August 20, 2026. Should that occur we will likely extend week to week until Labor Day. The Majestic requires full payment on or before week 1 of league. That means I would ask everyone to pay me $592 total (16 weeks x $37) in whatever increments or installments you wish by the 1st week of golf. I will not be collecting in advance anything further or extra for prizes or prize money or a year end scramble meeting with dinner as we have traditionally done. If the consensus is to do that as last year and it can be arranged I will collect from you later.

I will forward full season schedule when prepared at my request by our awesome scrivener/record keeper Jerry DaBlade Carlson. If we have a cancelation for weather the scheduled matches are then considered vacated and we move to the next week with the new matches as scheduled. Any extension of the season by a week or 2 for weather cancelations will have new matches assigned at that time. In other words (or in these exact words) this is who you will play when you play them.

Weekly gambling games will continue. We have the last few years collected $10/team each week at golf for pots with 3 weekly winners. First, greenies or par 3 closest to the pin wins something each week, as does “5 Hole” lowest individual net score on the 5th hole with hole by hole carry over for lowest scores only as tie breakers…and low team net score blind draw skin pot with a week by week carry over as necessary. I suggest mandatory participation including subs as before since payout amounts depends on amount collected.

Finally thank you all for allowing the continuation of the SNAPPERS GOLF LEAGUE, circa 1988. We have survived to thrive. And we welcome 1 new SNAPPER to the league.

Ricky A. Carlson aka “SNAPPER”
810-691-6888

PAY CONVENIENTLY:
VENMO @ Ricky-Carlson-4
Or mail to:
Ricky A. Carlson
Attorney at Law
5955 W. Main St., Ste. 621
Kalamazoo, Michigan 49009

GO SNAPPERS 2026!!!!

[Golf Sheet / FINAL STANDINGS – 9/4 Results]<-click

LINK FIXED (REFRESH)
[SCORES by week 2025 (the good, bad & ugly)]<-click

UPCOMING…
WHAT: [YEAR-END OUTING downloadable pdf]<-click

WHERE: ATLAS VALLEY GOLF CLUB
8313 PERRY RD, GRAND BLANC 48439
WHEN: SUNDAY SEPTEMBER 14, 2025
9:00am (check in); 9:57AM 1ST TEE TIME

IN THIS ISSUE: Results from the final week and a Beer Babe year-in-review. Scramble Teams announced at the end of post.

CONGRATULATIONS TO THIS YEAR’S LEAGUE CHAMPIONS, PAUL CROW & KEITH BROWN!

CUDOS  (FINAL WEEK):

LOW ACTUAL: PAUL CROW  “38”

LOW NET:  STEVE M & CAM  “35”

GREENIES:  STEVE M (no one hit the other green) 

5—HOLE:  STEVE M

TEAM SKIN:  WOLF/JWOLF 2 week carry #10

Blade’s Slice:

The 38^th Snapper Season is in the books, and what a memorable one it was! As noted, this was the first year where no additional funds were collected for prize money, therefore there was no budget for actual prizes. HOWEVER, there is room for VIRTUAL BALLS & PRIZES! Let me know if I missed anything.  ENJOY!!

The Final Majestic Beer Babe of the Week tally as follows: Based on sheer number of wins, we have a tie between Chelsea and Lizzie with 3 wins each. Thanks to all of the ladies and there efforts at keeping us hydrated throughout the year.

• Chelsea 5/8, 6/5, 7/10
• Josie 5/29, 6/19,
• Lizzie 6/5, 7/31, 8/14
• Malyna 6/5, 6/26,
• Sadie 5/15
• Sophia 6/12, 8/14
• Brooke 8/7

It is worth re-playing the completely original song I wrote in one of your sister babe’s honor last year (and not to be confused with any Bob Seger tune). Let it be a MBBOTW anthem!

♫ Off a long and gruesome fairway ♫
♪ Deep in 4-foot straw ♪
♬ You can listen to your partner ♬
♫ Moanin' out his one note song ♫
♪ You can think about the three-putt ♪
♬ On the green you blew the hole before ♬
♫ But your thoughts will soon be wandering ♫
♪ The way they always do ♪
♬ When you're ridin' sixteen over ♬
♫ And there's nothin' much to do ♫
♪ And you don't feel much like golfin' ♪
♬ You just wish the round was through ♬

♫ See here I am ♫
♪ At the beer cart again ♪
♬ There I am ♬
♫ thirst to assuage ♫
♪ Here I go ♪
♬ Ordering a Blue again ♬
♫ There I go ♫
♪ Turn to Paige... ahhh! ♪

AND FINALLY…

The 4-man Scramble teams have been selected based on season average / handicap. All 16 participants were seeded from 1-16 and inserted into pre-draft slots as follows:

TEAM ONE:   1,  8,   9,  16

TEAM TWO:   2,  7,  10,  15

TEAM THREE: 3,  6,  11,  14

TEAM FOUR   4,  5,  12,  13

AND HERE ARE YOUR CURRENT TEAMS (subject to re-draft if there are any cancelations or no-shows. But don’t do that)

TEAM 1 – BRUCE LEACH (3), CHRIS CARLSON (8), MIKE TOMASZEWSKI (8), RICK CARLSON   (15)

TEAM 2 – REY FARAH (5), TIM KACHELSKI (8), PAUL OGINSKY (8), JERRY CARLSON (13)

TEAM 3 – GEORGE OCKERMAN (6), DAVE WOLFENDEN (7), TONY TOMASZEWSKI (9), GLENN SIMMINGTON (11)

TEAM 4 – STEVE PELTIER (7), STEVE MARKUNAS (7), CAMERON BARNETT (9) GRANT STAHLEY (10)

GO SNAPPERS 2025!!!!

[Golf Sheet / Week 16 (September 4, 2025) – 8/28 Results]<-click

• WHAT: [YEAR-END OUTING downloadable pdf]<-click
• WHERE: ATLAS VALLEY GOLF CLUB – 8313 PERRY RD, GRAND BLANC 48439
• WHEN: SUNDAY SEPTEMBER 14, 2025

9:00am (check in); 9:57AM 1ST TEE TIME
(4-man teams to be drafted after this week’s final round)

SBITES  (aka Snapper Bites)

CUDOS :   IT’S “STEVE M. WEEK”…WHY??? Because I didn’t feel like typing  “Markunas” out 5 times…

GREENIES:   STEVE M.  &   STEVE M.

LOW ACTUAL PAUL CROW of course tied by STEVE M. at “40”

TEAM SKIN:  push/carry over but …wait for it……………..

5HOLE: Steve M.

BIRDIES???  Ogi scored 3…Steve M. got 2.. 1 each for sub JR Rouse…JWolf…Crow and Ricky C….I mean Ricky Carlson…

SIDE NOTE:  It is last week for points and  position round …1^st place wire to wire team Crow/Brown can still lose out to 2^nd place Wolf/JWolf on a complete 22 pt sweep or….20- 2 pt whippin for a tie at the top….Every other place is up for grabs including last place where Dablade/Walker are fighting a 3 hole  (6 pt) deficit only.  GOOD LUCK BOYS ….all except you STEVE M. …you used yours up last week.

Blade’s Slice (recycled memes from year’s past)

STAY DRY, AND STAY TUNED FOR THE EXCITING (*yawn*) CONCLUSION TO THE 2025 SNAPPER SEASON!!

GO SNAPPERS 2025 !!!

[Golf Sheet / Week 15 (August 28, 2025) – 8/21 Results]<-click

SBITES  (aka Snapper Bites)

CUDOS :  

GREENIES:  STEVE “SHANG KWAN PHAT” PELTIER started us off on PIGS FLY week with his1^st of the year greenie…)..then MIKE WALKER “ NO NICKNAME YET” followed with a greenie…also his 1^st of the year….

LOW ACTUAL…  NOT CROW but CHRIS CARLSON shot low score of the weeks with “39” but his team did not win the match because SHANG was his opponent and also shot low actual “39”….

LOW NET:  CHRIS CARLSON “30” (neither the low actual nor low net for Chris was a PIGS FLY surprise only that with such a score (playing anyone but CROW/BROWN) he did not win his match and partner CAM scored just fine. Then for our final shocker of the night CROW, who does not rely on handicap and therefore has almost none and therefore usually has no chance for a 5-hole won his 1^st ever with a natural birdie plus a ding ‘’

TEAM SKIN:  push/carry over

BIRDIES??? Yes there were 5 but mostly on CHRIS and SHANG’S card….they each sunk 2  and then as mentioned CROW got 1.

SIDE NOTE: CROW now has the best chance to fill in every line on the weekly sheet sudoku quest fashion needing only an EAGLE  (the league has none yet this year) and  and AOTD.  GOOD LUCK.

Blade’s Slice

From the Snapper Archives – Snappers North 2004
“The Nightmare” in West Branch, Gailes, Seredella and Blackshire @ Lakewood Shores in Oscoda, Red Hawk in Tawas and Huron Breeze in Au Gres

From: Rick “Snapper” Carlson
…Of the many moments that always accompany a Snapper event, there was one I believe worthy of further discussion and I implore you DaBlade to report it to the website for the purpose of same. Not surprisingly, the event in question involved Bill “Pick-Pick?” Cape and Mark “The Assassin” Blevins, each historically skilled at calling undue attention to themselves as we all know.

I had the pleasure of Bill’s company as a cart partner as we approached a lengthy par 3 over what Gary calls Foldergarb, whatever the hell that is @ Red Hawk Golf & Country Club in east Tawas.. Just know, you can’t hit out of it and usually can’t get your ball out of it to drop. Bill of course after just the right number of confident waggles, dribbled his ball into the very front edge just out of play. The question arose: “where to drop and hit the 3rd shot?”. The query was ridiculous according to Bill. Snappers always treat this situation as a good thing, taking their distance where they can and dropping further on down (sometimes well further on down at the opposite end of their actual entry into the “foldergarb”). He cited many examples at Sugarbush and ignored the fact that Tom had made this a posted local rule with signs directing the practice at the near end of the hazard followed by a marked and designated drop zone on the far end of the hazard.

Well, Bill insisted upon driving the cart the additional 150 yards or so to the far end of the hazard to drop and attempt a (simple for most) 10 yard chip to the green before him from there where he knew he could get up and down in no more that 3 -5 additional shots. Understand, we were playing for $$$; $15 buckaroonies apiece per round and the other two foursomes on the course were not available to discuss it at the time. Bill was delighted to discover that there was in fact a designated drop zone marked by a sign and further delighted to hear me curse and exclaim that I did not have a camera at the ready. Perhaps he, and Mark (who was later discovered to have done the identical thing), will be less delighted to discover that while Snapper lacked a camera at the ready to take the picture to the actual sign, that he did not lack the balls or forsight to take the sign to the picture (allegedly).

Let the Snapper website followers decide. Were Bill and Mark correct to have taken their distance and invoked the “quicker you get into the s***, the quicker you can drop on the other side” Snapper practice?

GO SNAPPERS 2025!!!!

[Golf Sheet / Week 15 (August 21, 2025) – 8/14 Results]<-click

SBITES  (aka Snapper Bites)

CUDOS :   CONGRATS  TO THE PAULS ! 

GREENIES:  OGI  & CROW (although CROW’S required 4 step offs the 1^st 3 being too close to call)

 LOW ACTUAL…  WAS IT PAUL CROW   AGAIN  FOR THE 13^th consecutive week????? …NO s ub ART KARDITZ nipped his very fine “40” with his own  “39”

LOW NET:  ART KARDITZ  “34”

5—HOLE:  GLENN SIMMINGTON

TEAM SKIN:  TEAM CROW/BROWN both parred #10 before it was drawn as the lucky skin hole and with a ding scored a league best “7”

BIRDIES??? SURE ….BUT ONLY 1  belonging to ART KARDITZ..he used it to beat CROW out of low actual

PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT:  Our 16 week league season now ends SEPT 4 barring another rainout…

Blade’s Slice:

As Snapper mentions above, the schedule has been extended by one week, with the Position Round now falling on the last week on 9/4, and the lost schedule from the 5/22 rainout moves to the 8/28 slot.

A pair of Majestic Beer Babes this week – Congrats to Sophia, shown here with sub George Ockerman.

…and Lizzie, with cousin Mike.

AOTD: Nomination(s) and dishonorable mentions. Getting to the course last week and just in time to catch the last stretch limo cart ride to the dock – Nobody but Cousin Mike & myself were on this shuttle. I asked Mike, “How was your week?” and he responded with, “Dog gone it, I’ve had a fine week!” I told Mike that was ice cold to say “dog gone” when I had posted on Facebook the day before about my having to say goodbye to my dog,  Zeke. Mike’s defense was that he didn’t do social media and had no idea, and that his remark was innocent. I’m almost gullible enough to buy this, but then I remember that my UncleCousin Jim wouldn’t raise no wallflower without a biting wit – and while I may have been born at night on the back of a turnip truck, it wasn’t last night, and his Aunt2ndCousin Mary didn’t raise no vegetable.  And then the capper… I snapped this on the boat ride to #10 tee.

IYKYK

Dishonorable mention to Steve Markunas, with his callous shouts of “GadZekes!” after a miss hit, and “These sure are dog days of summer” comments peppered throughout the night. No winner after these? How, you ask? No official vote was taken, but that can be rectified tonight.  NOTE: there is no budget this year for any prizes, including balls, so unless a Flying Lady is donated, NO Balls For Youze!

Here is a snapshot of the YTD scores (so far)

Lastly, here is a clip from the Snapper archives from 2001 that official disallows females to golf in the Snapper League. Rules are rules.

“Mary was treated as a pacer, and her score was stricken from the books, as this sad episode comes to a close, and we can all try to get on with men’s golf as best we can. “

GO SNAPPERS 2025!!!!

[Golf Sheet / Week 14 (August 14, 2025) – 8/7 Results]<-click

CUDOS :  

GREENIES:  ART KADITZ & TIM KACHELSKI 

LOW ACTUAL: PAUL CROW  “36”

LOW NET:  PAUL CROW  “35”

5—HOLE:  BLADE

TEAM SKIN:  TONY T & GRANT STAHLEY

BIRDIES??? CROW WITH THE ONLY ONE

Blade’s Slice:

Congrats to Brooke, this week’s MBBOTW!

This is Casey Kasem and it’s time for the American Top 40 long-distance dedication…

Dear Casey,

This goes out to all of those golfers like myself who are having troubles on the green whether they have the shanks, slips, jips or yips. They either get it caught in their skirt and only get halfway – or they muscle it by the hole on its way off the green. And reading the green is as difficult as reading Tolstoy’s War and Peace with dirty glasses. So Casey, please play…

Total Eclipse of the Hole by Bonnie Tyler.
(Turn around)
♫ Every time I putt I get a little bit closer
But it never goes down
(Turn around)
♫ Every now and then the ball speeds past the hole
and runs completely off of the green
♪ (Turn around)
♫ Every now and then I get a little bit terrified
And then I get cigar smoke in my eyes
♪ Turn around, blight eyes
♫ Every now and then I fall apart
And I need you now tonight
And I need you more than ever
♪ And if near the hole you’d lite
Why are you rolling on forever?
♪And I’ll only be making it right
If I only could endeavor
Why can’t I read the line?
♪ My game is like a shadow on me all of the time (all of the time)
Once upon a time, I was putting for bird
But now I’m only chipping for par
♫ What can I do to get
A total eclipse of the hole
A total eclipse of the hole
A total eclipse of the hole

and now from the J Geils Band, Give it To Me
You’ve got to give it to me… Give it to me!
You’ve got to give it to me… Give it to me!

[Golf Sheet / Week 13 (August 7, 2025) – 7/31 Results]<-click

CUDOS :  

GREENIES:  TONY T & PAUL CROW  

LOW ACTUAL: PAUL CROW  “37”

LOW NET:  RICK NORTH  “32”

5—HOLE:  RICK NORTH

TEAM SKIN:  CAM & VINNY (FUHGETTABOUTIT!)

BIRDIES??? THREE OF ‘EM.  ONE EACH FOR KEITH BROWN, STEVE PELTIER & VINNY DEFELICE (SUB).

Congrats to Lizzie, this week’s MBBOTW!

This week’s musical interlude is another 100% original tune that I call…

“Bluderstruck” (any similarities to an AC/DC tune is strictly coincidental)

♫ I was caught ♫

In the middle of a greenside trap (blunder)

♪ I looked ’round ♪

And I knew there was no hitting crap (blunder)

♬ My mind raced ♬

And I thought, what could I do? (blunder)

♪ And I knew ♪

There was no help, no help from you (blunder)

♫ Sound of the hacks ♫

Yapping in my ear

♪ I wonder if I’ll max ♪

Just give me a Beer

♬ You’ve been ♬

♪ Blunderstruck ♪

GO SNAPPERS 2025!!!!

…All aboard, hahahahahaha Ayy

[Golf Sheet / Week 12 (July 31, 2025) – 7/24 Results]<-click

CUDOS :   CONGRATS! 

GREENIES:  RICK NORTH & TIMMY KACHELSKI

LOW ACTUAL: PAUL CROW  “41” (10 OUT OF TEN!) CAN HE SWEEP!

LOW NET:  DAVE & JASON WOLFENDEN   “35”

5—HOLE:  RICK NORTH

TEAM SKIN:  THE WONDERTWIN WOLFENDENS ON #16 – A 3-WEEKER!

BIRDIES??? ONLY TWO. 1 for CAM AND ONE FOR TIMMY K (HIS GREENIE).

TRIPLE BOGIES? YEP. THIRTEEN OF THEM.

AOTD?:  KEITH BROWN (OUR FIRST OF THE YEAR!)

Blade’s Slice:
AOTD: We have a “winner”. Keith Brown wins for… well, for being late I guess? He wasn’t on the beer deck post-round to defend himself, so I have to go off the accuser’s charges uncontested. Apparently, Keith was in his air-conditioned home and was contemplating not showing for golf due to it being too hot outside. Meanwhile, his partner Paul was spotted waiting for him on the deck as the cart limo took the last group to the dock for the pre-round boat ride. According to my sources, Keith did end up showing 25 minutes late. In the history of the league, many Snappers have been late to golf due to work or traffic or any number of reasons beyond their control. This might be the first documented case where the tardiness was a decision. At least you get a free ball for the dubious distinction!

Honorable Mentions (Really? No winner through the first 9 weeks, and now we not only have a winner, but runner-ups?): Glenn Simmington “I’m taking my flag and going home.” . A criminal defense attorney by trade, Glenn found himself on the other side of the law as he was spotted trying to abscond with the hole flag on #16. Walking off the green and back to the cart with his putter, ball and… flag over his shoulder! (somewhere, Nancy Kerrigan can be heard sobbing, “whyyy!?”) Apparently, his opponents had to detain Glenn while they heroically returned the flag to the hole ala Iwo Jima style.

Dishonorable mention goes to Wolf, for rude and discourteous discourse. After I hit the longest drive on #17, (and a full round of missing every single makeable putt) Wolf says, “Nice drive, but you still have to putt it.”

In other News:
Cousin Mike and I are sitting in the cart after finishing the round, with our opponents Wolf and JWolf. (The plan was to form the Last Hole Gallery, since we were first off, but we gave up waiting for the second group after about half an hour). While we are waiting, Cousin Mike notices that father & son Wolf and JWolf are unusually jolly, we assume because of the 20-2 point a## kicking they gave us. In deadpan fashion, Mike asks JWolf, “He’s gonna take you out for ice cream tonight, isn’t he?”

GO SNAPPERS!