WEEK 4 UPDATE: May 28, 2020 By: Snapper (Posted: June 3)
Weekly Cudos:
Low Actual: Kevin Stutzman “38” Low Net: Rick Carlson “30” Greenies 1: Chris Johns Greenies 2: Kevin Stutzman Team Skin: Carry over 5-Hole: Kevin Stutzman ASSHOLE OF THE DAY: n/a
Congrats to the following weekly winnas:
Welcome to the Kevin /Chris Johns show!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I heard that they both had to arrange for private security escorts out of the parking lot due to the additional cash on hand they each had by the end of the night…………….
GREENIE #1: CHRIS JOHNS
GREENIE #2: KEVIN STUTZMAN
5-HOLE: KEVIN STUTZMAN
TEAM SKIN: No they didn’t get that one … hole # 1 was drawn and halved by two teams with a net “5″ $150 carry over…
BIRDIES?: yeah we had birdies from Jason Carrier, Herb Green, Steve Markunas and you guessed it….Chris Johns…each pocketing $17 in Jamies scratch skins game…..Herbie had another birdie as well but it was cut by Dave Fuery and Kevin Stutzman so no cash for you…..
Finally….Governor Half Whit heard about our starting our league early and our early abandonment of useless face masks and social distancing and I am told she was fearful we would start a similar civil disobedient trend with bars and restaurants and she would lose total control of a lot of lives…so they all are ordered open next week all of em but with her MANDATED BEHAVIOUR….Nice job Snappers…Michigan thanks you!!!!!!!
AOTD????: nothing to report here….
ASO FINALLY: remember Snappers to support our guys who have been with us before but due to work or family conflicts cannot be here every week but would like to sub any time anywhere (kinda like Doyne “free golf” Cason haha… anyway SCOTT GREGORY would like you to invite him or ask me to sometime…also Bloomie and Ron Hamon as to those with existing handicaps….
The Snappers Golf League would like to honor the second Majestic Beer Babe of the Week. Yes, we’d like to, except we are unable to since neither Tommy nor Larry seemed to recall her name. It’s possible they are both male chauvinists who patronizes, disparages, or otherwise denigrates females in the belief that they are inferior to males and thus deserving of less than equal treatment or benefit. I prefer to give them the benefit of the doubt by assuming they both suffer from prosopagnosia, a brain disorder characterized by the inability to recognize or differentiate faces (or consistently read greens).
WEEK 3 UPDATE: May 21, 2020 By: Snapper (Posted: May 27)
Weekly Cudos:
Low Actual: Tommy Harrison “37” Low Net: Paul Oginski, Ken Hochstein “29” Greenies 1: DJ Hochstein Greenies 2: Jason Carrier Team Skin: Carry over 5-Hole: Dave Lawless ASSHOLE OF THE DAY: Tony Tomaszewski
TEAM SKIN: hole # 20 was the blind drawn team skin hole and was cut twice at “6” for another carry over…
BIRDIES?: yeah we had birdies from Jason Carrier, Coop, Tommy Harriso which all scored cash in Jamies scratch skins game…..Jamie and Furey got one also but they cut each other on hole 27……
AOTD????: This one was won early by TONY T who after most SNAPPERS felt we had more than adequately covered the previous week “JAKE FORD GREENIE MYSTERY FIASCO” without actually getting to the bottom of whether Steve Markunas inadvertently and innocently with good intent but bad technique stuck the greenie stake in the ground on the fringe and therefore off the green making Tommy writing his name on the stake reasonable (which Steve denies) or whether Tommy or his partner Coop who stepped into the mix last week admitting to the handwriting of Tommy’s name on the stake as his own…negligently and/or with willful wanton disregard for truth and accuracy failing to note that Jake was on the green and closer when Tommy’s name was written or worse yet acknowledging but surreptitiously ignoring the fact (something we don’t even consider as actually being the case and was of course denied) ….but anyway….run on sentences be damned….Tony T who won AOTD this week did so by passing out the normally blank closest to tee markers to the 1st group off this week each with a single name you guessed it JAKE FORD already written on each one before play had even begun…..nicely played Tony but you are an asshole…
Finally on a side note…..I am a little concerned about the multiple day possible forecast for weather in the northern hemisphere coming up…..there may be a high pressure system developing which potentially could combine with the right temperatures and undissipating cloud cover anticipated….I would only ask that if any of you and specifically the “Dry Boys” sniff any humidity in the air which may evaporate and result potentially in precipitation affecting or that you fear might affect your participation in our league night and cause you to stay home…please let me know of your planned attendance and/or nonattendance so we can get subs….bahahahaha…thanks….
1st 2020 Majestic Golf League Beer Babe Of The Week – Ryleigh was chosen for her customer service not to mention her penchant for civil disobedience (no mask) but still socially distanced from Tony T
WEEK 2 UPDATE: May 14, 2020 By: Snapper (Posted: May 20)
Weekly Cudos:
Low Actual: Jamie Leece “40” Low Net: Rick Bailey “32” Greenies 1: Jason Wolfenden Greenies 2: Jake Ford Team Skin: Carry over 5-Hole: Tim Kachelski ASSHOLE OF THE DAY: Jerry Carlson
Congrats to the following weekly winnas:
GREENIE #1: Jason Wolfenden stuck a shot closer than all prior or subsequent comers and turned in a greenie card to claim the cash with 1 and only 1 name on it (& only once) just the way I like it… GREENIE #2: Jake Ford cut Tom Harrison….Jamie Leece… & Jake Ford???? Or did he? ,,,more on that later below… TEAM SKIN: the 5 hole was drawn as the team skin hole and was cut twice at “6” for a carry over…
BIRDIES?: yeah we had birdies from Wolf, Coop, Stutz, Jason Carrier & Rick Bailey Jamie and Tommie Harrison ….. but they all cut each other in Jamie’s Scratch Skins game which now has another carry over pot….
AOTD????: Sure thank you all for stepping up to the challenge…this weeks nominations mostly centered around the “closest to” greenie stake on hole #12….why was it not there when our 1st group went by???….who was at fault???…what should be done about it???….how can someones name appear twice on the card , once before and once after other guys?…no less than 5 Snappers by my count could have been held accountable..including Jerry Carlson for agreeing to take the stake out immediately when asked by myself (or did he) me for giving it to him before he had a 4some (apparently Tommie his opponent was not yet there) Tommie for not being there early as I asked preleague 3 different ways (email text and website posting) or even Tom Boyd who Jerry claimed after the vote in his absence accepted his hand off of the stake but quietly kept this to himself…or….and this is my personal favorite Jake Ford…the apparent winner of the greenie money for ( apparently turning in a greenie card which lists him both as the closest to and also as the 4th closest to the hole)…in the fast and furious accusations and proffered defenses of AOTD nominations as often happens Jamies voice is the loudest and most difficult to contest…he said Jakes name was 1st and last because he was actually on the green without a stake to mark the shot and therefore marked it with a tee and piece of paper which was not seen by others who marked the late arriving stake but later were discovered not to have been closer than Jake so he wrote his name again….HUH?????? I mean sounds good sorta but does not explain how Jakes name got on the stake card in the #1 position…why would Tommie believe himself to be closest to and write his name down as #2???….anyway brutha JERRY CARLSON in the light most dihonorable to you…they voted you winna for not getting the stake out there when I sent everyone scurrying on a clusterfuck backwards up the course with instructions to go as far as you could before seeing the league ahead of us…give em the finger…drop your balls and play on in in front of them…take the ball….speaking of golf balls….your killing me with ties for low actual (5 balls the 1st two weeks) and low net (4 balls in same time)…somebody distinguish yourself please..
AOTD DISHONORABLE MENTION: Team #13 FUREY/ROMO or as some have called them “the dry boys”…for the 2nd year in a row because it was raining somewhere 5 hours before league they decided that they could and would predict that there would be or should be a declared “rain out” of league play because it would be raining at league time or the course would have too much water on it for their comfort and they refused to either show up or schedule substitutes (note point scoring is allowed if 2 substitutes are sent in your absence)…anyway the inclement weather predicted by these guys as last year proved wrong as we had not a single raindrop fall upon any of us and the course was in great shape for drainage not even requiring cartpath only…we did miss you guys though (especially your opponents who were lonely by themselves)…
In case you missed the [Snappers Golf League Facebook Group] conversation regarding the closest to the pin controversy, join now. Here is some of what you missed…
So this greenie marker card was turned in to me at golf league….can any of my FB friends offer a plausible explanation for who should be considered the closest to the pin winner and why???
Ricky A. Carlson: or exactly how could this happen???
Ricky A. Carlson: or why Jake F ought not be considered AOTD???
Tom Boyd: Greenie marker wasn’t there when Jake Ford played the hole. Jamie beat Tommy and then Ken said Jake was inside on where Jamie was, when they were driving back, showed where the tee mark was that someone picked up.
Ricky A. Carlson: Why is Tommy’s name on the card at #2 if Jake’s name not on it and tommy thought he won?
Steve Markunas: I put down the marker. The piece of paper that was on the green said jake f. That my writing on line 1
Ricky A. Carlson: Ah the plot thickens….so steve you wrote Jake’s name #1 …tommywhen nobody was looking g wrotehis name claiming to be closer than Jake then jamie got inside tommy but kenny told jamie that jake had been closer than jamie ( and by implication closer than tommy too) …hmmmm???? Tommy what say you? And jamie why not just cross off Tommy’s name like you did your own instead of writing Jake’s name again? That was you???
Ricky A. Carlson: wait a minute the “e” is different than yours Jamie but looks alot like yours Steve????? you didnt write Jakes name on the card twice did you Steve??????
Steve Markunas: I only wrote jakes name
Ricky A. Carlson: once? at the top?
Steve Markunas: Yes second group thru
Steve Peltier: Being politically correct, I did not write’Shang’ on that card.
Steve Markunas: Shouldn’t be that hard!!
Jerry Carlson: I’m waiting for a full exoneration. Just like General Flynn, I was the target of a witch hunt.
Ricky A. Carlson: Jerry Carlson hmm so you want the one who nominated you aotd to apologize for doing so?….how bout everybody who voted for it? You trying to get nominated again for that haha?
WEEK 1 UPDATE: May 7, 2020 By: Snapper (Posted: May 12)
Weekly Cudos:
Low Actual: CJ, DJ, COOP & PEACHES “41” Low Net: CHRIS JOHNS “33” Greenies 1: Larry Cooper Greenies 2: DJ Hochenstein Team Skin: STUTZMAN/JOHNS 5-Hole: Tommy Harrison ASSHOLE OF THE DAY: Nope… Governor does not allow yet
WEEK 1 is in the books…..It was a bit chilly but imagine had there been a boat ride…. Next week we are on #10…again no boats and no shuttle so grab your cart and head over to the tee…
Congrats to the following weekly winnas:
GREENIE #1: Larry Cooper cut Kevin Stutzman and GREENIE #2: DJ Hochenstein cut Dave Furey
TEAM SKIN: STUTZ didn’t get shut out of the money though as he rode his partner Chris Johns’ birdie on the par 5 # 7 and parred it himself for a team net “7” beating all comers…the team skin hole blind draw was made by the State of Michigan as I posted on our FB page in advance it would be…the 1st single digit in the evening daily 3 lottery was “7” so that was our hole….
5-HOLE: Tommy Harrison broke a tie with Jamie on hole 6 for the win…
BIRDIES?: yeah we had birdies from CJ, newbie Jake Ford, Coop, Jamie and Tommie Harrison ….. but they all cut each other in Jamie’s Scratch Skins game which now has a carry over pot….
No ASSHOLE OF THE DAY WAS REPORTED….PLEASE DO BETTER NEXT WEEK……I WON’T STAND FOR THAT TOO MUCH LONGER THIS YEAR….
GOOD NEWS! That woman is allowing carts this coming week!
BY: DaBlade: Additional requirements under the latest from the governor’s 42-stage plan for re-opening the golf courses:
1) While golf carts are now allowed, they must be left in reverse. When asked about this seemingly arbitrary requirement a spokesperson stated, “we are not out of the woods yet,” which seemed to clarify things quite well.
2) Two to a cart will only be allowed if the non-driver lays on top of the roof while screaming at his partner to ‘slow the f*** down!’ as they careen wildly on two tires down a side hill toward the tree line.
3) Golf balls must be washed after completion of each hole in the the convenient tee-side ballwashers, regardless of whether or not you suspect an earlier inebriated golfer may have urinated into it.
4) Golfers who fail to achieve a hole-in-one from each tee box will be required to pick up their ball and card a score of ‘one’ in order to enforce social distancing.
5) No golfer shall be denied permission to play through solely based on a confirmed or suspected diagnosis of COVID-19. (Governor Cuomo helped The Gretch with this one)
6) Lastly, if Governor Whitmer pulls up in the beverage cart, you are required to purchase beer. Failure to provide a large tip will earn you 7 days in jail. Calling her a C*** is punishable by firing squad.
If you are reading this online and have not yet set up your account and credit card info with the Majestic for food and drink and nerchandise and early golf and other purchases why don’t you do so now?????????? Instructions have been emailed to you and the link is on the Majestic Website….
MAJESTIC SNAPPERS 2019 THURSDAY NIGHT GOLF LEAGUE
YEAR-END OUTING @ MOOSE RIDGE GOLF CLUB
SUNDAY SEPTEMBER 8, 2019
1 st Place -12 “59”
(won 18 holes/cart each @ Moose Ridge)
TEAM #2:
DAVE HAMILTON CHRIS JOHNS TOM BOYD RICK CARLSON
2nd Place -7 “64”
(won 18 holes/cart each Metamora CC)
TEAM 5:
SCOTT GREGORY STEVE PELTIER TONY TOMASZEWSKI RICK BAILEY
3 rd Place 3way tie -5 “66”
TEAM #4:
CREIG ALLEN TOM HARRISON JASON CARRIER JOHNNY MARTIN
TEAM #8:
DAVE FUREY HERB GREEN DAVE LAWLESS JASON WOLFENDEN
TEAM #7:
DJ HOCHSTEIN MIKE ROMANOWSKI MIKE BLOOMFIELD JERRY CARLSON
6 th Place 3way tie -3 “68”
TEAM #1:
JAMIE LEECE STEVE MARKUNAS RON HARMON JOHN LEECE
TEAM #3:
LARRY COOPEER TIM KACHELSKI MATT MURANEY BILL CAPE
TEAM #6:
DAVE WOLFENDEN KEVIN STUTZMAN PAUL OGINSKI KEN HOCHSTEIN
SCRAMBLE SKINS WINNERS
$210 each
Hole # 9 par 3 Birdie “2”
TEAM #8:
DAVE FUREY HERB GREEN DAVE LAWLESS JASON WOLFENDEN
Hole # 15 par 4 Eagle “2”
TEAM #2:
DAVE HAMILTON CHRIS JOHNS TOM BOYD RICK CARLSON
Hole # 13 par 4 Birdie “3”
TEAM 5:
SCOTT GREGORY STEVE PELTIER TONY TOMASZEWSKI RICK BAILEY
GREENIE WINNERS
$40 each
Hole # 6 Jason Carrier
Hole # 9 Herb Green
Hole # 12 Ron Hamon
Hole # 16 Chris Johns
2019 LEAGUE WINNERS
1 st Place Jamie Leece Herb Green
(won 18 Hole /cart Metamora CC + dozen Pro V1 balls each)
2nd Place Dave Furey Mike Romanowski
(won 18 Hole /cart Metamora CC + 1 golf glove each)
14 th (LAST) Place Dave Lawless Bill Cape
(each won bag of pink Tees + 6 florescent lime green very findable golf balls)
LUCKY CARD RAFFLE WINNERS
1 st card drawn: CREIG ALLEN
$100 cash winna
2 nd card drawn TONY TOMASZEWSKI
Two 18 hole/cart GULL LAKE STOATIN BRAE GOLF Passes
$300 gift cert Firekeepers casino hotel $530 Total Value
3 rd card drawn MIKE BLOOMFIELD
Foursome golf/cart Flint Golf Club $300 value
4 th card Drawn PAUL OGINSKI
Twosome golf/cart The Emerald Golf Course St. Johns Michigan $110 Value
CONGRATS TO EVERYONE AND
THANKS FOR A GREAT YEAR AND
ALOT OF FUN SNAPPERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WEEK 18 UPDATE: August 29, 2019 By: Snapper (Posted: September 5)
Weekly Cudos:
Low Actual: Scott Gregory “41” Low Net: Rick Carlson “33” Greenies 1: Matt Muraney Greenies 2: Jason Carrier Team Skin: R Carlson/S Markunas 5-Hole: Tom Boyd ASSHOLE OF THE DAY:Nope
Congratulations to this year’s Champions, Jamie & Herb!
But enough about them – I’m sure we’ll all hear more and more about it at the last meeting after the year-end scramble. Speaking of the scramble, here is the info you’ve been waiting for:
SUNDAY SEPTEMBER 8, 2019 @ 8:30 AM (check in) 9:00 AM start tee time LOCATION: MOOSE RIDGE is located at 11801 Doane Rd, South Lyon, MI 48178 ..use your GPS!!!!
GET THE HAND-OUTS (click the links for the PDFs)
19 outing Moose Ridge Includes details on the Annual Scramble and Dinner; SCRAMBLE RULES, and Prizes.
WEEK 17 UPDATE: August 22, 2019 By: Snapper (Posted: August 28)
Weekly Cudos:
Low Actual: Dave Hamilton “38” Low Net: Mike Bloomfield “29” Greenies 1: Jamie Leece Greenies 2: Scott Gregory Team Skin: K Hochstein/D Hamilton 5-Hole: Mike Bloomfield ASSHOLE OF THE DAY:Nope…too nice a night
Birdies?: Hamilton (2), Muraney (2) Furey, Gregory, Romanowski, Harrison & Leece
LEAGUE STANDINGS????? Well it is the final week and position round and here it is.Jamie and Herb need 3 points to lock it up and win the league. 2 points gets them a tie. Winners for the last two years Furey & Romanowski have the task
BATTLE FOR FIRST!!!
TEAM SKINS Kenny & Dave Hamilton won a 2 week carry this week. This weeks pot WILL have a winner by drawing holes one at a time and everybody is in every draw until we break it so get as many good team holes as you can.
As an aside note that this year as of last week (going in) the overall league average is 1/3 of 1 stroke higher than last year…YOU HACKS!!!! Who is most responsible for this???oh well count me in.
Last Place Battle for the Backwoods!
DON’T FORGET : When next we meet we will be checking into Moose Ridge at 8:30am for a 9am shotgun scramble. Bring cash $25/man for gambling games and as much as you want for the $5 a crack or 5 for $20 raffle which will have a prize and cash pot of approximately $550 – $700 (or more)? for 2 winners to split (depending on participation).
WEEK 16 UPDATE: August 15, 2019 By: Snapper (Posted: August 21)
Weekly Cudos:
Low Actual: Scott Gregory & Jamie Leece “39” Low Net: Scott Gregory “32” Greenies 1: Dave Furey (his 1st of the year) Greenies 2: Kevin Stutzman (his 1st of the year) Team Skin: carry over 5-Hole: Dave Furey (his 1st of the year)
ASSHOLE OF THE DAY: Nothing doing this week….only 2 more weeks to go and only 5 of us have distinguished ourselves thusly so far.
Also still no Eagles and 6 of us still looking to join the birdie club….6 of us do not yet have double digit pars…,less than half of us have won all the greenies ……WOLF is as close as we have to finishing out the sheet in SUDOKO QUEST form (filling in all the boxes) but even he needs Eagle…5 Hole and AOTD… SO LETS STEP IT UP…….
LEAGUE STANDINGS????? Jamie and Herb are threatening to shut us all out……they have a 23 point lead I believe coming into play tonight agai9nst COOP & Tommy…. And Watch out for the match between WOLF/JWOLF & FUREY/ROMO both wannabies right now and both with a shot to make it into the 1st place position round playoff the last week. No disrespect intended for the rest of you guys treading water in the mid 160 points…go for it…
LAST PLACE??? It is a 4 team dogfight……
JAMIE’S SCRATCH SKINS:…..FUREY…LEECE….COOP…you go girls……scoop up the cash…..
TEAM SKINS are a 2 week carry this week…..If we have no winner this week we WILL have a winner the last week by drawing holes one at a time and everybody is in every draw until we break it…
Low Actual: Mike Romanowski “40” Low Net: Jason Wolfenden “34” Greenies 1: none Greenies 2: Dave Muraney double greenie payout! Team Skin: Team Wolfenden-Lucky hole # 17 for Team Wolf taking down a 3 week carry over pot 5-Hole: Scott Gregory
ASSHOLE OF THE DAY:,August 8, 2019: Oh My!! What a week….multiple nominations and a 1st ever tie vote. Honorable Mentions: Rick Carlson for sending his partner Tony T back to the tee from their mid fairway drives to retrieve the greenie markers thought to be there when they were instead in fact about 20 feet away in their opponents’ cart…..Pic Pic was also nominated for stealing the last seat on the dock train cart being saved for Tony T who was getting drinks and scheduled 1st on the tee (well actually 2nd but Tommie wasn’t there…that is another story) when Pic was not scheduled til, later and his partner wasn’t there yet…thereby putting the whole league about 30 minutes behind schedule…. The WINNAS R: 1st Jerry Carlson for arriving at the course with the official scorecards about 5:30 for a 5:00 tee time.. His defense offered in absencia (someone said and he wasn’t there) the cards were not in the manbag anyway upon which yours truly immediately pulled them from the bag in their own folder labeled “blank scorecards” and 2nd Tommy Harrison for arriving at the said boat shuttle cart at the last minute perplexed…he was actually scheduled 1st off and Cooper had played over to the tee and was anxiously waiting…but Tommy needed beer (its for Coop he said)…what to do? Most would simply await the next shuttle but Tommie decided that he would somehow appease Coop by sending his golf bag over ahead of him while he bought beer…Now who was perplexed???
BIRDIE CLUB: There are 6 Snappers still without a birdie…but did you realize there are 28 with no Eagles…..running out of time and we usually get one or 2 even though it is more difficult to do so at this course playing from Jamie’s blue tees….
Low Actual: Mike Romanowski “38” Low Net: Matt Murany “32” Greenies 1: Larry Cooper Greenies 2: Jerry Carlson (sorry, Ron. I thought I was cutting Coop.) Team Skin: double carry over for a hondo. 5-Hole: Johnny ‘Golf’ Martin
Birdies: Steve Peltier, Larry Cooper and Ron Harmon all added to their totals while the poorer stayed poor. Still a few out there though.
It’s not a “Purse” and it’s not a “Murse”. It’s just the Man Bag.
Everybody knows what happened to Frodo-Blade in The Lord of the Man Bags when he put the Man Bag on his shoulder. He immediately became visible to the threatening Eye of Snapper-Sauron all the way from Daytona Beach, and under attack by the Nazgûl league members. As Frodo-Blade journeyed closer to Lake Walden and the Majestic, the corruptive power of the Man Bag became too much to bear. In any case, Snapper-Sauron is back to reclaim the Man Bag and lead the Fellowship of the league. The End
And now for some Man Bag jokes:
A father in Iraq gifted his son a new Man Bag for use in his golf league. Son – “Thanks for the Baghdad”
“Why is there sweat on my Man Bag?” “Calm down, it’s just a little pursepiration.”
After returning from a trip from the Sunshine State, Snapper tells Timmy all the things he’d seen. “Did you know in Florida they use alligators to make handbags?” Timmy says in amazement, “Wow, it’s crazy what they can make animals do these days.”
What did Grandpa say after leaving his Man Bag on a bus? “Allahu Akbar!”
A policeman arrives at the crime scene “Now, sir, can you describe the man who stole your Man Bag?” “Oh, it all happened so fast! He pushed me over from behind, I didn’t see him at all. One thing though; he was a vegan.” “How do you know that?” “He told me as he was running off.
Snapper walks into a bank to deposit golf league funds… He grabs the pen to sign his name, but it (inevitably) doesn’t work, so he hunts in his Man Bag. He pulls out a thermometer saying, “Shit, some asshole’s got my pen.”
