Who remembers the time (back in 2005) when The Snappers Golf League was NATIONALLY FEATURED on CNN for our opposition to the push for a Michael Moore sign? OK, ‘featured’ may be overstating just a bit. Watch the clip below and you be the judge.

RIGHT THERE! DID YOU CATCH THAT? “Some in town… a local golf club.” Sure, it seems a little vague and doesn’t name The Snappers (or DaBlade) by name. Meanwhile they practically lift Kevin, my adversary in the sign controversy, onto their proverbial Fake News shoulders. CNN political producer Abbi Tatton and blog reporter Jacki Schechner only covered the story in an attempt to boost Kevin’s petition drive to get Michael Moore’s name added to the ‘Welcome to Davison, Michigan’ sign on State Road at the city limits. Meanwhile, I ran a Michael Moore Caption the Sign Contest on our little golf site. CNN purposefully avoided naming The Sugarbush Snappers Mens Golf League in Davison so as not to give us traction, but at least they mentioned the existence of an opposition. Where was Fox News and a Blade documentary?

In any event, many people followed those bread crumbs (temporarily spiking web traffic) and found our corner of the internet (albeit briefly) and participated in my Caption Contest. Web traffic has long since returned to just a handful of Snappers checking the sheet and tee order for the week, but I thought a walk down memory lane would be amusing.

SPOILER ALERT! As far as I know, Michael Moore never got his sign. You’re welcome.

The Caption Contest showed a photo of the sign at Davison city limits stating: “HOME OF KEN MORROW 1980 U.S.A. HOCKEY TEAM OLYMPIC GOLD MEDAL WINNER 1980 STANLEY CUP CHAMPION” and challenged participants to add their suggested Michael Moore reference to the bottom of this sign, promising to spray paint the winning entry on the actual sign.

The Caption Contest is no longer active, but I suppose you can leave any pithy additions in the comments section of this post. Linked here is the full static 5+ page pdf, but below are my favorite highlights.

Michael Moore Comic Caption Contest <–click

You will notice that some folks didn’t feel comfortable using their full names on their comments, while many others filled in pseudonyms (fake names). We did get a few ‘movers and shakers’ stopping by and leaving their thoughts. I’m old enough to remember when former Flint talk radio liberal firebrand Dave Barber who hosted talk shows from the 1970s (on WTRX, WTAC, WFDF and WWCK) before relocating to Rhode Island to host a morning talk radio slot in 2006, working until his death in 2015 at the age of 60. Dave Barber stopped by and gave me his two cents. Yes, it was really Barber (trust me, I know). I mean, who would pose as him? However, I cannot vouch for the veracity of the comment from President George W Bush. I’m 50/50 on that one. There is no data to prove that my snarky comment to Barber in 2005 led to his dismissal / relocation to RI immediately following.

We had several entries from my sign nemesis (and CNN sweetheart) Kevin McKague, at the time a Davison City council member. I ended up respecting the guy, and wouldn’t have the clip from CNN except for the fact that Kevin invited me to stop by his home to borrow a VHS tape of it – whereby I dutifully videotaped my tv screen of the clip playback with my handheld family Mini DV movie camera. That’s why the quality is so bad. Hey, cell phones with video did not become commonplace until about 2010 (and much later for me).

Without further delay, here are the highlights.

As a person who has lived in this community for over 30 years I would like to offer my input on Michael Moore. Michael Moore is a great man, who has aspired to greatness. Mr. Moore should be honored by his hometown. He has received WORLD WIDE notoriety. Mr. Moore is truly a great guy from Davison who has donated hundreds of thousands of dollars to the Flint Area.
Submitted by: DAVE BARBER
Blade: Please j..j.just drop the microphone and kick it gently to me… A sign in MM’s honor would be divisive to this community, much like your radio program. The difference is, I can turn the radio dial to avoid you.

I stumbled across this site cause I googled Michael Moore. I sent in a nomination form for Michael Moore. I know Michael J. Thorpe, and Ken Morrow did too. Ryan Eashoo must push harder against these right winged, narrow minded a$$ holes..
Submitted by: Don Hampson
Blade: You are sitting at your computer “googling” Michael Moore? You have issues, sir, and this site will provide you with the necessary therapy. You’ve made the first step in your recovery by coming here. Good luck!

I think Ryan Eashoo is a HERO! He should be MAYOR of Davison for Sticking up against these RIGHT WINGERS!
Submitted by: Julie Moore – no relation to mike
Blade: HEY EVERYONE! RYAN IS DRESSED IN DRAG AGAIN!

Be Nice. Michael Moore might do his next documentary on “The Snapper League”…. Showing the problems with the snappers.. Such as laziness, and how most of them are DRUNKS!
Submitted by: Jill Wright
Blade: Hey Jill. Shut yer yapper and go fetch me a cold one!

Kevin and Mike are both FAT. So maybe they should join Curves together and do something useful.
Submitted by: Jack Henderson
Blade: Do you really want to risk driving by and seeing MM in spandex?

I think a sign for Michael Moore is a great idea. After all if it weren’t for Mike’s hard work for that Ralph Nader fella, I wouldn’t have been “elected” in 2000!
Submitted by: President George W Bush
Blade: Dubya, let’s not forget MM’s prominent seating next to Jimmy Carter in his presidential box (no, I don’t mean Roslyn) at the Democratic National Convention. What an illustration of the absolute joke the democratic party has become.

I don’t believe the post signed by Clay Perkins was actually him…that is why I was pointing out the error. I don’t think the Superintendent of Davison schools would make such a mistake. As for the rest of you clowns, I would expect nothing other than creative spelling.
Submitted by: Kevin McKague
Blade: Kevin, why do you doubt the veracity of these posts? Hey President Bush. Please help me verify the legitimacy of these aliases.

If this is really from Clay Perkins, and he is in charge of the School Board, then he should have said “Don’t Ryan Eashoo and Kevin McKague….” or at least use a grammar check program.
Submitted by: Kevin McKague
Blade: There is a Clay Perkins on the school board? Huh! Here I thought it was the rockabilly artist of Blue Suede Shoes fame.

Michael Moore is in town right now, I seen him at Archies in Davison near Davison Rd, off M-15, across from the new blockbuster. He said “Hi” to me.
Submitted by: Bill Hearster
Blade: Kevin? You want to take a shot at this one? He seems to be experiencing a “Mooregasm”.

Was Michael Moore force fed as a kid?
Submitted by: William Schultz Royal Oak Michigan
Blade: Good question Schultzy. My sources tell me that when MM heard about the removal of Terri Schiavo’s feeding tube, he was asking for it.

Doesn’t Ryan Eashoo and Kevin McKague have anything better to do? I mean maybe they should join the snapper league to give them something constructive to do with their time. Sad people they are!
Submitted by: Clay Perkins
Blade: C’mon Clay! Nothing constructive? They are frequent visitors to this website after all.

DeBlade Go Ahead keep Batteries, Flash light and Spray Cans Handy. Cause we will be the first person we come to if the “Moore Sign” is defaced in any way, shape or form.That would be a FELONY! You seem bright enough to keep your big ass out at Sugar Bush for this last season there.
Submitted by: Joe Momma
Blade: Hey Joe, the real crime here is your attempt at putting together a coherent thought. My sign tagging will be a mercy killing.

DeBlade I am sure your punky 6’ft plus tall ass wouldn’t know what to do if confronted by Talk Show Host and Local Hero DAVE BARBER! 1570AM.
Submitted by: Will
Blade: Who? Dave the barber? Never heard of him. He must be on opposite Rush.

I love Michael Moore, I see him and Ryan Eashoo a lot at Apollo in Davison. He loves a big coney with extra onions! I think he is good for the economy in Davison.
Submitted by: Audrey Gaia-Paix
Blade: Audrey, I can’t argue with that! I’m beginning to see the appeal from area business eateries.

Won’t it be funny with “The Don” makes Sugar Bush into a Condo and Home Development and you sorry ass people won’t have any course to play on? I think Michael Moore is the best thing to happen to Davison since, Lucky’s Steak House!
Submitted by: James Nelson
Blade: My, my James. Ever heard of “anger management?” First, the mayor loves us. Second, he doesn’t own them all. You liberals really hate it when someone is enjoying themselves, dontcha? (Watch those arteries).

Hometown of Michael Moore, whose documentaries have been seen by more people in the entire history of film, whose books all entered the NYTimes Top 10 Book sales list, generous philanthropist, giving millions to Flint area schools and charities….How big can we make this sign?
Submitted by: Kevin McKague – givemikeasign@aol.com
Blade: Kevin? Did you grow up near the old GM toxic dump site off Pengelly street in Flint by chance, or did you just have an affinity for paint chips as a child?

Blade’s Last Slice: Today I bask in the glory of my righteous victory over the moore-ons. As I bask, I also wait for the media onslaught of deserved (but unwanted) attention from media outlets, as I expect to have to fight my way through a barrage of reporter’s microphones as I make my way to my car. Certainly CNN has been trying to reach me! Maybe Judy called while I was on vacation.

GO SNAPPERS!!!

[26 FULL WEEKEND PACKET FINAL.pdf]<-click

Tap her nose with a golf tee?

Today is Day One of Snappers North 2026 (as of this posting) but Travel Day Wednesday did not pass by without drama. I received a cryptic text with subsequent photo from Tony T yesterday:

(Tony)
Snappers ” Spike’s Keg O Nails” asshole of the day was Snapper.
Beer babe of the North is in red.
The other one is the manager

(Blade)
Nice! That’s a cool place.
Snapper has until 7am to make
a defense before it’s posted.

Here is that defense: (enter the famous two-note “dun-dun” sound effect at the beginning is Law & Order)

SBITES (aka Snapper Bites) 9/10/26 :
My proforma defense to AOTD nomination I expect to be overused. We a group of 12 in 5 cars from 5 origins agreed on a pergola lunch spot in Grayling. 8 arrived at the same time. They seated us with 3 cars and 4 people still coming. Then the place started filling up at noon on a Wednesday.

I asked our server to save us the 4-top next to us. “When will they be here,” she asked. “Soon,” I said. “Not good enough,” interjected the bartender not involved until she intercede into our conversation. She explained restaurant policy regarding saving seats for people not present and when will they arrive and why she cannot do what we need.

At some point I said, “I don’t want to argue with you… I am a problem solver trying to figure out what we do to get what we need,” and she kept saying I told her we had 8 when I came in. I said, “I don’t care who said what or how big a table you gave us as a result! I just wanna figure out a solution.

She kept talking… I said, “I don’t wanna argue with you.” She kept talking… FOUR TIMES I SAID, “I DON’T WANT TO ARGUE WITH YOU!” She said, “I know, but…” and I said, “THEN STOP IT!” To my surprise this was the overzealous bartender and not the manager. I found this out when a newcomer arrived announcing that she was Manager and was told there was someone she needed to talk to. I said, NO YOU DON’T, I DON’T WANNA ARGUE WITH YOU EITHER! SO I went outside to smoke a cigar and avoid further confrontation with non-problem solvers and then Timmy said, “TAKE A PIC WITH BEER BABE OF DAY!”

BLADE’S SLICE:
Congratulations brother Snapper, on the trip’s first AOTD award (on what should prove to be a target rich environment). Might I make just a couple observations on your story? You stated many times that the only response you could eventually formulate was, “I DON’T WANT TO ARGUE WITH YOU!” I’m calling BS on that. You literally picked a life-long career as a lawyer whose main job is to argue. Do you yell from your courtroom seat “YOUR HONOR, I DON’T WANT TO ARGUE WITH HIM!” at the opposing counsel, as he paces back and forth in the well dishing pesky facts to the jury (like – “you said you had 8!”) I think what you meant was, “I don’t want to keep losing this argument with you ladies.”

As for the feigned credulity over Spikes Keg O Nails filling up at noon on a Wednesday – it’s known as the meeting place of the north. It’s their tag line and on the manager’s shirt. It was lunch time. It was the reason you needed tables. You earned an AOTD for trying to defend outting members who hadn’t set their alarms or bothered to show up on time. Let that sink in.

Speaking of late arrivals, it is unknown if the following parking lot incident is in any way related…

Today’s schedule – don’t be late unless you want to get thrown under the syrup truck.
THURSDAY SEPTEMBER 24, 2026:
18 holes BOYNE HIGHLANDS ARTHUR HILLS
Tee times begin 11:20am
6:30 Dinner MY TOWNHOME: ITALIA GARDENS
(BBQ Ribs, Chicken, Mostacolli,Salad, Bread)
stay BOYNE HIGHLAND

PLEASE SEND PHOTOS AND STORIES if you would like them posted here.

GO SNAPPERS NORTH 2026!!

[26 FULL WEEKEND PACKET FINAL.pdf]<-click

SNAPPER BITES:

EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO KNOW (OR AT LEAST EVERYTHING I’M GONNA TELL YA) ABOUT NEXT WEEKEND IS CONTAINED WITHIN THE ATTACHED 12 page pdf. If you print it 2-sided for yourself it is only 6 pages (DUH) and is convenient to carry in your golf bag.
Otherwise it is always available to you in your email OR IN THE ABOVE LINK. I do not intend to print multiple hardcopies and pass them out as in the past.

DONT FORGET THIS COMING MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 21 is the deadline for you to use VENMO to pay your $125 weekend gambling money (details in the attached packet payout sheet). Otherwise pay him (our bookie CMONEY aka CMO aka CARL aka CHRIS CARLSON) as soon as you see him on Thursday Please. ALL PAYMENTS UP NORTH IN CASH. NO CHECKS. GO AHEAD LAUGH; IT HAS BEEN DONE.

VENMO @ CHRIS-CARL-CARLSON

I HAVE NOT CHECKED THE WEATHER CUZ I DONT CARE. GONNA BE A GREAT WEEKEND. THANK YOU TO EVERYONE IN ADVANCE FOR COMING.
GO SNAPPERS 2026!!!

BLADE’S SLICE:

Reminiscent of O.J. Simpson’s infamous slow-speed police pursuit in a White Bronco, Michigan State Troopers were in hot pursuit of a Leonard’s Syrups van on northbound I-75.

Police were alerted to the van from numerous 911 calls about a rainbow truck driven by a diminutive man and with 31 other passengers, loaded with 32 golf bags strapped atop the van and narrowly missing the overpasses.

When police question a passenger who identified himself as Papa “Johnnie Cochran” Snapper, he was overheard telling them, “if the golf glove fits, you must acquit.” Confused by this, the troopers released them on their own recognizance.

GO SNAPPERS NORTH 2026!!

[Golf Sheet / FINAL 09-10-2026]<-click

SBITES  (aka Snapper Bites) 9/10/26 :

GREENIES:  TOMASZEWSKI BROTHERS, Mike & Tony each took down one for their 2^nd each for the season.

5 HOLE:  CAM SHOOTS AND SCORES his 2^nd 5hole for the season this time with a lazy par 4 for 3 that went uncut

TEAM SKINS: Had to be broken on final week with as many tedious draws as necessary so what happened? TONY T and RAC cleaned out the 2week carry over on the 1^st draw with a par and a bogey on the 1^st par 3 # 21

AOTD: Not today.

Birdies: TK on 26, CAM on 24 and CHRIS with 3 on  20, 24 and 26.

FINAL SEASON STANDINGS FINDS  WOLF & JWOLF fell short of FUREY & ROMO 1^st PLACE WINNERS, SHANG/OGI got caught by TK & STEVE for a kiss ya sista 3^rd place tie, CMO/CAM jumped over MIKE T & Rick N, and DABLADE and ED needing more points than they could possibly win in 1 week to stay out of last place didn’t. Congrats to SNAPPER and TONY for winning the equivalent of the old “coffee hole” award winning 2^nd to last.

FINAL SBITES  (aka Snapper Bites) 9/13/26/ POST SEASON SCRAMBLE :

GREENIES:  TIMMY K on # 11, MIKE T on #16, OGI on # 7 and  #3 went unclaimed . $25 each to the winners and $25 into the raffle Pot.

SCRAMBLE SCORES: TEAM  GLENN won with a score of 65 (-7) (GLENN, MIKE T, ED & SHANG)

followed by TEAM SNAPPER with a 67 (-5) (RICKY C, CHRI C, Hollywood and Grant Stahley

and TEAM BLADESKI  with a 69 (-3)  (Oginski, Paul, Tomaszewski, Tony, Kachelski, Timmy and Carlsonski, Jerry )

RAFFLE WINNERS: SHANG, GLENN SIMMINGTON, ED STOTZ and RICK CARLSON each won a preleague Majestic 9 hole certGRANT STAHLEY and MIKE TOMASZEWSKI won a dozen perused but washed of golf balls and the CASH ROLL OF $265 was won by, drum roll please…. SHANG      

BLADE’S SLICE

The Majestic Beer Babe 2026 competition was very close, and all deserving, but the photo finish reflects Anzi nips out the runners up with 3 total wins! Congratulations to all winners.

Avery 5/14
Allie 8/6
Anzi 7/9, 8/20, 8/27
Brooke 5/28, 8/20
Chelsea 6/11, 7/9
Emerson 5/7, 5/28
Emma 6/25
Kara 6/18, 7/23
Maddie 5/21
Reese 7/30

Congrats to Mike & Dave for their third admission to the Snappers League Hall of Champions!

FINAL SCORES BY WEEK 2026

CONGRATS ALL WINNERS SNAPPERS 2026 IS NOW A WRAP !!!!

When reviewing the scramble teams, it was immediately noticed that “one thing was not like the other.” To rectify, I was given an honorary ski at the end of my surname.

TEAM BLADE-SKIs

Carlson(ski)
Tomaszewski    
Oginski
Kachelski

When I uploaded a short video to Youtube that featured four different background polka songs playing from Tony’s speaker, I was hit with a copyright violation for one of them. Imagine my surprise to learn that, (1) polka songs are actually distinguishable from one another, and (2) one of them was worried I was trying to monetize it. Heaven forbid I get “Who stole the Keeshka” an extra dozen listens over the next decade. Ah well… live by the AI sword, die by the AI sword. In any event, the Youtube self-checkout studio allowed me to cut the offending polka song out and replace it with a duty-free polka song that sounds exactly the same to my Swedlock ears. Enjoy!

Now if I can get these polka songs out of my head! I am having flashbacks to my childhood of the drive to Sunday Mass with the windows up and breathing second-hand Pall Mall smoke!…

We also have an honorary Tyrone Beer Babe of the Week. Congrats to Ruby(ski)

♫ Who stole the kishka Kirkland?
♪ Who stole the kishka Kirkland?
♫Who stole the kishka Kirkland?
♪ Someone call the cops!

♫ Roll out the barrel x-out, we’ll have a barrel of fun…
♪ Now’s the time to roll the barrel x-out, for the gang’s all here

♫ Oh, I don’t want Blade’s shot, you can have Blade’s shot
♪ it’s too fat for me
♫ it’s too fat for me
♪ Much too fat for me

HEY!

[YEAR-END OUTING RULES, 09-13-2026]<-click

Back where it all began…

@ TYRONE HILLS GOLF CLUB (US 23 & Center Rd)
SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 13, 2026 @ 9:30am (check in) 10:AM 1ST TEE TIME

*$125 total includes golf 18 hole scramble,
*w/ future 18 hole Tyrone certificate each for winning scramble team
*dog/brat at turn w chips
*dinner of Mostacolli, Salad, Bread, sweets and soft drinks
*$25 greenie skins money.

Please bring cash at this late date

Also we have a couple dozen golf balls and 7 nine hole Majestic preleague passes to raffle plus excess cashroll collected so bring a little extra cash if you want (eg $10-$30)

These are the teams scientifically selected by someone with fairness in mind

TEAM SNAPPER

Rick Carlson
Steve Markunas
Grant Stahley
Chris Carlson

TEAM BLADE

Jerry Carlson
Tony Tomaszewski    
Paul Oginski
Timmy Kachelski

TEAM GLENN

Glenn Simmington
Ed Stotz
Mike Tomaszeski
Steve Peltier

1 drive per each 9 for each team member (2 total each)
1 mulligan each player not transferable
1 club length drop each shot no closer to hole and not to change condition

Greenies and skin pot tbd

SEE YA THERE AND THEN

PICTURED: The entire 2026 Snappers, except for Ed and me. I took the picture and Ed had already skated. He said he had to get back to work since Amazon never sleeps, but I think he was just upset about our last place finish. When I told the crew I would photoshop us into the picture, Hollywood asked if I could put Ed’s head on a baby. I told him I couldn’t disrespect my partner in such fashion! (Team pics below)

League history. There has been 176 total Snappers members since 1988. FIVE 2026 League members were part of the inaugural group in 1988 (Snapper, Timmy K, Stve Markunas, Dave Wolfenden and Mike Romanowski), but only TWO have perfect attendance. Here are the 2026 Snappers (and the number of years in the league)
Rick (39) and Tony T (9) 9th season in a row
Tim (39) and Steve (31)
Wolf (38) and Jason (13) 10th together in a row
Chris (21) and Cam (4)
Shang (27) and Ogy (13)
Blade (26) and Ed (1)
Mike T (2) and Rick N (2)
Furey (8) and Romo (12)

Editor’s Query: Timmy K may like to know if there is a rule capping the maximum number of partners over one’s entire Snappers Golf League career, and whether it is higher or lower than, say “15”?)…
A couple weeks ago, Tim and super sub Grant Stahley posed for a pic, and Ed said Timmy K can finally see eye to eye with a fellow Snapper.

Ed was just a baby back in 2001-2002 when Timmy towered over partner Tony Do.

HERE COMES THE 2026 SNAPPERS…

TEAM 1: Rick Carlson & Tony Tomaszewski 

TEAM 2: Tim Kachelski  & Steve Markunas

TEAM 3: Jason Wolfenden & Dave Wolfenden

TEAM 4: Cameron Barnett & Chris Carlson

TEAM 5:  Paul Oginski & Steve Peltier

TEAM 6: Jerry Carlson  &  Ed Stotz

TEAM 7: Mike Tomaszewski & Rick North

TEAM 8: Mike Romanowski & Dave Furey, 2026 CHAMPS!!!

GO SNAPPERS!

[Golf Sheet / Week 16 Thursday, 09-03-2026]<-click

SBITES  (aka Snapper Bites) 9/3/26 :

LAST THURSDAY was WEEK 16 & therefore advertised as the final week of the season – was WASHED OUT.   RAINED OUT. STORMED OUT. in somewhat dramatic fashion. SNAPPER traveling this week as each week from home in Kalamazoo 2 hours one way was unfortunate to endure both of the storms traversing our state and causing 1^st SEVERE THUDERSTORM WARNING  then TORNADO WARNING.  Storm avoidance was impossible for storm # 1 which struck his path approximately Lansing as it happened all at once resulting in buckets of water and blowing reducing visibility on the freeway to 8-10 ft which meant accelerating above 35 mph without 4 way flashers or below that speed down to zero and thereby risking immediate asspack were equally impossible. Then relaxing before league  with  the typical pre-league round starting in the modest sunshine  resulted within 5 holes in – cellphone ALARMS and SIRENS  announcing a tornado warning and  instruction to seek immediate cover in the lowest most secure area blah blah blah.  

We were then located in the trapezium/quadrilateral in the above storm pic. Well from where your intrepid golfers were then located on the golf course the nearest such place offering a modicum of  safety was a cart ride around 3 corners up multiple cart paths and short cut walking trails where we found ourselves on the boat dock on the  edge of Walden Lake at the cart barn which we drove into seeking safety. What we found instead was a structure similar to that built by little pig #2 in the nursery rhyme story as protection from the BIG BAD WOLF. Looking to my right I noticed the only real protection was not having to see the blowing. Instead there were walls of ¼ in plywood tacked occasionally to 1 x 2 furring strips constructed on 5 foot centers. To my left? multiple golf carts clogging any reasonable egress.

It then occurred to me. He Knew. DABLADE  knew it would happen. That is why he skipped  this important season ending position round  feigning a  sore back. He and I shared a very superstitious mother whose premonitions were almost willed to happen she believed so hard. DABLADE must have intercepted  such a premonition from her .  BUT ALAS, all survived… The storm passed… the golf course wasclosed… a round or 2 of alcohol was had by all who attended and the inevitable final position round was simply postponed for 1 week …I hope to see you then DABLADE.

Blade’s Slice

Hmmm… the lower left corner of the above weather map shows the warning expired at 3:45PM, more than an hour before our scheduled first tee? Is there an AOTD vote somewhere in here?…

As I got to the end of Snapper’s writeup (“DABLADE knew it would happen!!”) All I could think of was the 1982 horror movie Poltergeist. Remember the famous line from Steve Freeling (Craig T Nelson) as he shouted in that neighborhood developer’s face, “You knew, didn’t ya?… You son of a bitch! You moved the cemetery, but you left the bodies, didn’t you? You son of a bitch, you left the bodies and you only moved the headstones! You only moved the headstones! Why? Why?”

No, I had no spectral visitations and I did not know a storm was coming. I swear, I threw my back out! Before Dave Furey objects by reminding me he played with a bad back the week before, I would counter that he shot a ’45’. That’s 25% MORE STROKES than his score of ’34’ from the week before. That’s almost 25% MORE. When applying that factor against my ’61’ from the prior week, that would result in a round of ’76’ (which is impossible with our ’72’ max due to the “Double par plus one” mandate). But enough math.

And now its time for this week’s picture quiz, Snappers League OR Poltergeist?

Picture 1:
A) Diane Freeling (JoBeth Williams) slips into the pool during the storm while looking for Carol Anne, OR
B) A beer babe slips into the Lake Walden cauldron during the storm looking for the beverage cart?

Picture 2:
A) Little Stevie Freeling stares in horror at the spooky-ass tree from safety of his bedroom during an inter-dimensional disturbance OR
B) Little Timmy Kachelski watches tornadic activity from the safety of the dockside cart barn.

Picture 3:
A) The girls are shocked to see the kitchen chairs have been neatly stacked by a Poltergeist, OR
B) The Majestic staff is shocked to see that the Snapper League cleaned up after themselves before departing the beer deck.

In another scene, the wacky and diminutive medium named Tangina ties a rope around her waist before plunging into the dark and mysterious spirit world in search of Carol Anne. I could really use that talent before plunging into the dark Majestic forest in search of my golf ball. At the very least, I will be tying off from here on!

DaBlade (looking for his lost golf balls): “Cross over, children. All are welcome. All welcome. Go into the light. There is peace and serenity in the light.”

SEE YA 9/10 (back cooperating).

GO SNAPPERS 2026!!!!

[Golf Sheet / Week 16 Thursday, 09-03-2026]<-click

SBITES  (aka Snapper Bites)

CUDOS :       

GREENIES:  WOLF & TONY T

Birdies: JWOLF got 2…..CMO got 1 ….SHANG got 1…WAY TO GO GUYS

5-HOLE:  SHANG’S BIRDIE WAS ON THIS HOLE!

TEAM SKIN :  carry over..we will break the pot this week

LOW ACTUAL : NICE “38”  WOLF actual and “32” net  SNAPPER

OK HERE WE GO FINAL POSITION ROUND TONIGHT FINISHES THE 2026 SEASON…UNLESS we wanna finish with a scramble dinner and awards?

I have booked tee times and dinner tentatively to RETURN TO WHERE IT ALL STARTED:

TYRONE HILLS GOLF CLUB if you want…here it is:

$125 BUY-IN  covers 18 holes/ea …dog at turn..dinner and INCLUDES $25 greenie and skins $$

AS USUAL 1^st Sunday after Labor Day, this year SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 13, 2026 @ 10 am

TELL ME ASAP if you are coming so we can get enough guys for  foursomes.   WOLF and JWOLF cannot attend so subs MIKE WALKER? GRANT STAHLEY? GLENN SIMMINGTON?  ART KARDITZ?  We can do 16 0r 20 whatever works out.  TELL ME NOW IN OR OUT?

Blade’s Slice

Pop Quiz

1. The Snappers moved to the Majestic in 2005, which was the golf course’s ___ year.
   a) first year of operation.
   b) claim to fame.
   c) semiquincentennial anniversary!
   d) 12th year of operation
2. In 2017 ______ was awarded Golf Course of the Year by the Michigan Golf Course Association.
   a) Ye Nyne Olde Holles in Charlevoix County
   b) The Wawashkamo Golf Club on Mackinac Island
   c) A-Ga-Ming at Torch Lake
   d) The Majestic at Lake Walden in Hartland
3. The course was designed by _____, who has designed over 100 golf courses, most of them right here in Michigan.
   a) Chris Matthews
   b) Dave Matthews
   c) Clay Matthews
   d) Jerry Matthews
4. The Majestic is supported by 15 dedicated _____.
   a) Beer Babes
   b) pontoon boat captains
   c) Somali Learing Centers
   d) shareholders
5. We have 110 Yamaha quiet-tech _____.
   a) Roombas
   b) Samurais
   c) Rickshaws
   d) gasoline carts
6. Majestic has ________ that takes golfers to and from the 10th tee.
   a) a chairlift
   b) a suspension bridge
   c) the Jolly Mon’s magical dolphin
   d) a 24-foot Tri Toon Pontoon boat
7. Lake Walden is 150 acres and the course is 333 acres spread over 150 feet of _____.
   a) nutella
   b) lost Rams
   c) Blade’s tears
   d) elevation change.
8. It is approximately 8.3 miles around 1-18 and 4 miles around holes 19-27.
   a) which is 21,648 total yards.
   b) but only a total of 142 yards from the gold tees.
   c) but triple that “as the Blade flys”.
   d) all are true (ish)
9. The _____ is 4,000 square feet and can seat 180 people.
   a) bathroom stall
   b) pontoon
   c) last hole gallery
   d) clubhouse
10. We have over 75 team members working behind the scenes to give everyone a great experience.
    *This is obviously true, and the Snappers League would like to thank each and every one of you…

Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you.

The answer key (below) is a sign on the wall directly eye level when standing at one of the bathroom urinals (except for Timmy, who has to stare at the urinal cake). Did you get them all correct?

And the sign said “Long-haired freaky people Need not apply”
Speaking of signs, the Snapper league has a long history (and sometimes conflicts) with signage.

There were times when THERE WAS A SIGN, but it was ignored (or misinterpretted). I’m guessing this was one of those times?

OR how about this one (that led to an AOTD win)

6/1/2000
Bill Cape was runner-up when, upon arriving to the course, pulled his vehicle into a parking spot clearly marked by a “Reserved for Golf Professional” sign. Bill’s defense was that he felt the sign was “kind of vague” since it didn’t actually name a particular golf professional. Even his own partner, Dave Lawless, wasn’t buying it when he rhetorically asked “what was your score again tonight Bill?”

*Sometimes blatant anarchy!

And sometimes an honest attempt at compliance!
The LETTER of the law conveyed by this sign states “CARTS ARE TO BE DRIVEN IN ROUGH EXCEPT WHEN CROSSING.”

So when Rick Bailey and partner Mike Kennedy were spotted driving in the landscaping by this sign, were they following the SPIRIT of the law?

Speaking of following the spirit of the sign…

PHANTOM SIGNS? Those times when there really wasn’t a sign (but should have been one?)
ASSHOLE OF THE DAY, June 16, 2011:
Dishonorable Mentions: Bill Cape, for driving the passenger tires of his golf cart erratically over large landscape rocks which were placed precariously beside the paved cart path near the worker’s booth just outside of the clubhouse prior to the round. When “John” the shuttle driver objected, Bill feigned a back and neck injury, boisterously complaining the fact that there were no warning signs of “ROCKS NEXT TO CART PATH AHEAD”. “Why are there no arrows or reflectors clearly marking this hazard?,” inquired Bill. Darren answered this question with his own, “Don’t the large rocks mark themselves?” To which Bill retorted, “Obviously the safety of the customers are not a top priority,” as he rubbed the back of his neck and dangling the prospects of a class action as bait in a feeble attempt to get Nakes to take the case. “Besides, I was distracted by my partner Dave’s yelling,” to which Jamie responded, “Yeah, he was yelling ‘WATCH OUT FOR THE ROCKS'”. Jamie also made the point that Bill had no business piloting a cart at the clubhouse prior to the boatride to the starting tenth tee. Partner Dave successfully argued that they shouldn’t be expected to walk the 20 feet from the booth to the shuttle pickup in front of the beer boat.

AND LAST but not least (for now), where is this “FREE BEER” sign?

Asshole-of-the-day (July 3, 2006)
TIMMY KACHELSKI, for authorizing the giving of “FREE BEER” by the Majestic Golf Course or by WDFN radio station or by …well who cares anyway…it’s “FREE BEER” isn’t it? …isn’t it? No, it wasn’t. When the Snappers finished play this week and collected at one end of the deck outside the clubhouse awaiting the official start of the post golf Snapper Meeting, they found local sports talk radio station WDFN broadcasting live on the air at the other end of the deck.

Long rumored to be hosting a live broadcast from the course on Snapper League night, they were finally here. Local Club Pro Steve Tanner with full radio microphone headgear was seated at a table with two other curious looking show hosts similarly attired, fielding phoned in questions about golf. Across from them was another table with a cardboard box with a slit in the top, several notepads and pencils and a whole bunch of red plastic souvenir cups with the WDFN logo on them stacked as a pyramid clearly awaiting anyone who wished to have one.

Free? Seeing his opportunity to win a golf ball, and embarrass a few fellow Snappers in the process, Timmy K began pointing to the far end of the deck and authoritatively announcing to Snappers who finished after him, starting with Snapper himself, that they were to go there, fill out a sheet with their personal info and put it in the box for a chance at free Tiger tickets, then take a red cup, go inside and Laura, the unfortunate employee to have drawn inside beer duty would fill it with beer for free. Snapper realized two things almost immediately upon following Timmy’s instructions to the letter, First, Laura had no damned idea what he was talking about as she clearly had not been instructed that the beer she was selling would under any circumstances be free, and second that he left his wallet in his golf bag in the car having an unfinished bourbon & coke with him for the meeting and no intention of purchasing a beer. Snapper determined to utilize his lawyerly powers of verbal persuasion and upon insisting the proper number of times that in fact “they told us to do this, it’s free, really” without one time allowing her to ask who “They” were caused Laura to relent and he and his buddy Les Helmkay walked out with free beers. The crowd of Snappers outside were beside themselves with delight when Rick & Les came out with their brewskies until Les convinced them that we really had not paid for the beer…really.

Snapper left Les to explain the Johnny Cochran-like oratory he had just witnessed, and went to the parking lot to retrieve his wallet to pay for the beer only to pass the next group with Micha Fulgham & Chad Ellis on the way in. Unable to refrain, Snapper nodded towards the deck and simply stated “FREE BEER” in as nonchalant a manner as one can utter those two words, to see if Timmy would do it again. He did, over and over.

Honorable Mentions:
Rick Carlson, for falling for such a prank without knowing better;
Micha Fulgham, for incredulously insisting to Laura (immediately after Snapper had in fact paid for his previously pilfered beer and Laura in on the gag) that it could not be so…he saw red cups with beer in them in front of Snappers on the deck and Snapper, his lawyer, had never lied to him before. Steve Peltier, who was sitting next to Timmy the whole time and obviously in on the gag for nevertheless successfully representing himself and talking Laura into the same deal as “that guy in the green shirt (Snapper) got”, successful only until Snapper flipped his $20 over Steve’s shoulder & explained to Laura, who stated the obvious in gathering the change, she was simply waiting for Mr. Tanner to get off the radio to verify she was right in giving away beer.

…and there you have it. Snapper lore meets Signs.

Just remember, be like THE GLACIER TWINS.
SMILE IT’S ONLY A GAME – VISIT THE CHUCKWAGON!

GO SNAPPERS 2026!!!!

[Golf Sheet / Week 15 Thursday, 08-27-2026]<-click

SBITES  (aka Snapper Bites)

CUDOS : 

GREENIES:   WOLF & CAM congrats

Birdies: ROMO on 26  Shang on 27  BUT  EAGLES?  Yes WOLF on 27 and FUREY on 26  WOW!!

5-HOLE:  CAM  went par par on 5^th and 6^th holes

TEAM SKN :  RICK NORTH and GLENN SIMMINGTON with net “5” on #22

LOW ACTUAL : Let’s just call this DAVE FUREY FUNK BREAKOUT WEEK. NICE “34” actual and “27” net

BEER BABE OF THE WEEK: ?????  WE GOT 2 THIS WEEK.  CONGRATS BROOKE and ANZI for superior service from each.THAT’S ALL I GOT . TAKE IT AWAY BLADE>

CONGRATS BROOKE:

CONGRATS ANZI:

BLADE’S SLICE:

Thanks, Snap! We have a chock full issue this week. We’ve had Snapper Bites. Cudos! Games winners. TWO Beer Babes… That is worth the extra dues collected (which is $0) And yet, THERE IS MORE! Let’s begin with last week’s scores by hole.

And now for the highly anticipated AI-generated haikus teased in the Headline. “Why”, you ask? “Why not?”, I say…

Back in 1988 when this league started, I was sure that we would have flying golf carts by now. Oh sure, we have since reached “the singularity” with Artificial Intelligence, but instead of self-tying sneakers and flying cars, we have AI created memes of Enes Kanter stealing Natasha Cloud’s wig. Still worse, large data centers being built to address AI’s insatiable need for power uses significant amounts of water for cooling (think of the beverage consumption of the average Snapper on a 90+ degree evening).

Per an AI generated search (irony intended) these data centers consume “between 1 million and 5 million gallons per day under peak conditions, which matches the daily usage of a town with 30,000 to 50,000 people.” Is it any wonder why Lake Mead, the reservoir that services Las Vegas, has water levels down 33% due to this high water demand from the Colorado River? At this rate, the only “bones” being rolled in Vegas will be found in the empty alleys along Fremont Street.

BUT HERE’S THE GOOD NEWS! We have AI to generate golf-themed Haikus featuring The Snappers! No need for creative thinking! If we are going to dry up, we might as will go down with ignorant grins. So I entered the necessary prompts, and this was the instantaneous result…

Here are custom 5-7-5 golf haikus for each pair on your list:

1. Snapper & Tony T
   Snapper hooks it left, (5)
   Tony T is in the weeds, (7)
   Both need better luck. (5)
2. Timmy K & Hollywood
   Timmy K chunks shot, (5)
   Hollywood just poses nice, (7)
   Vanish in the pond. (5)
3. Wolf & Jason
   Wolf mutters a curse, (5)
   Jason muffs a easy chip, (7)
   Pack knee deep in mud. (5)
4. C Money & Cam
   C Money is broke, (5)
   Which club will Cam snap in half? (7)
   Deep into fescue.(5)
5. Shang & Ogy
   Shang shanks it way wide, (5)
   Ogy throws his heavy wedge, (7)
   Total golf despair. (5)
6. Blade & Ed
   Blade slices his putt, (5)
   Ed is stuck inside the sand, (7)
   Scores are way too high. (5)
7. Mike T & Rick North
   Mike T slices right, (5)
   Rick North heads south in the pond, (7)
   Goodbye Titleist. (5)
8. Furey & Romo
   Furey whiffs the ball, (5)
   Romo hurls his putter far, (7)
   Time to hit the bar. (5)

I’m not sure why AI insisted on counting the syllables at the end of each line (precious ounces of water lost), but we can rest assured that AI has a good grasp on us and this technology is finally being used for the greater good. And that’s gonna do it for this week. Remember, keep your head down. Especially when I am teeing off.

GO SNAPPERS 2026!!!!