LOW ACTUAL: PAUL CROW “41” (10 OUT OF TEN!) CAN HE SWEEP!
LOW NET: DAVE & JASON WOLFENDEN “35”
5—HOLE: RICK NORTH
TEAM SKIN: THE WONDERTWIN WOLFENDENS ON #16 – A 3-WEEKER!
BIRDIES??? ONLY TWO. 1 for CAM AND ONE FOR TIMMY K (HIS GREENIE).
TRIPLE BOGIES? YEP. THIRTEEN OF THEM.
AOTD?: KEITH BROWN (OUR FIRST OF THE YEAR!)
Blade’s Slice: AOTD: We have a “winner”. Keith Brown wins for… well, for being late I guess? He wasn’t on the beer deck post-round to defend himself, so I have to go off the accuser’s charges uncontested. Apparently, Keith was in his air-conditioned home and was contemplating not showing for golf due to it being too hot outside. Meanwhile, his partner Paul was spotted waiting for him on the deck as the cart limo took the last group to the dock for the pre-round boat ride. According to my sources, Keith did end up showing 25 minutes late. In the history of the league, many Snappers have been late to golf due to work or traffic or any number of reasons beyond their control. This might be the first documented case where the tardiness was a decision. At least you get a free ball for the dubious distinction!
Honorable Mentions (Really? No winner through the first 9 weeks, and now we not only have a winner, but runner-ups?): Glenn Simmington “I’m taking my flag and going home.” . A criminal defense attorney by trade, Glenn found himself on the other side of the law as he was spotted trying to abscond with the hole flag on #16. Walking off the green and back to the cart with his putter, ball and… flag over his shoulder! (somewhere, Nancy Kerrigan can be heard sobbing, “whyyy!?”) Apparently, his opponents had to detain Glenn while they heroically returned the flag to the hole ala Iwo Jima style.
Dishonorable mention goes to Wolf, for rude and discourteous discourse. After I hit the longest drive on #17, (and a full round of missing every single makeable putt) Wolf says, “Nice drive, but you still have to putt it.”
In other News: Cousin Mike and I are sitting in the cart after finishing the round, with our opponents Wolf and JWolf. (The plan was to form the Last Hole Gallery, since we were first off, but we gave up waiting for the second group after about half an hour). While we are waiting, Cousin Mike notices that father & son Wolf and JWolf are unusually jolly, we assume because of the 20-2 point a## kicking they gave us. In deadpan fashion, Mike asks JWolf, “He’s gonna take you out for ice cream tonight, isn’t he?”
GREENIES: OGI (1st of year!) & TIMMY K (also 1st of year!)
LOW ACTUAL… PAUL CROW “40” (not 1st of year but 9th)
LOW NET: MIKE T “34”
5—HOLE: ALSO MIKE T
TEAM SKIN: CARRY OVER PUSH ON HOLE “1”
BIRDIES??? SURE …. 2 each for PAUL CROW, MIKE T and TIMMY K!!!
AFTER FIRST ½ of season complete: NEWBIE TEAM PAUL CROW & KEITH BROWN WERE
RUNNING AWAY 29 pts more than 2nd place!!! MIKE T & RICK NORTH BROUGHT THEM BACK WITHIN REACH THIS WEEK BUT JUST BARELY at 19 pts ahead
Blade’s Slice: The Snappers YTD League average by course played as follows. As Ricky told cousin Mike, “The back nine will hurt your feelings.”
In other news: ‘Have you ever seen that before?,’asked Rory McIlroy, after hitting out of rough and launching two balls on one shot at The Open. What I find ‘striking’ is that, according to the rules of golf, there is no penalty for striking an unseen ball during a stroke, as the second ball is considered a “loose impediment”. Yet there is a PGA rule where a player can be penalized for a ball moving after it has been addressed, even if it was due to natural causes? Weird.
Speaking of rules: I predict that this will now become commonplace in league play where two balls are launched simultaneously, and player claiming the ball with the best result… unless a new rule is adopted that prohibits more than one ball being played per shot (The Rory Rule?)
What I found most disturbing about this story was this: McIlroy picked the found extra ball up and laughed before tossing it aside.
Just tossed the ball like so much garbage? Is he that rich that he can discard balls at a whim? Does he light his stogies with hunderd dollar bills also? It reminds me of some of those fishing videos, where the sportsman pulls in a 40lb lake trout, only to release him back to the depths after holding it up humiliatingly to the camera. “Found balls” are all I play. UPDATE: There is no evidence that the extra McIlroy ball was a Ram.
And now it’s time for this week’s musical interlude with a 100% original tune that I call… “Snappers of Swing” (any similarities to a catchy Dire Staits tune is strictly coincidental)
♪ You find a Srixon in the rough ♫ ♫ Perfect lie after the fluff but meantime ♬ ♬ Hit in the river you stop and you drop anywhere ♪ ♪ A band is blowing Dixie, double four time ♬ You feel alright when you hit the next one square ♫
♪ We are the Snappers ♪ We are the Snappers of Swing
SBITES (aka Snapper Bites) CUDOS : CONGRATS! GREENIES: TONY T….& TONY T……
LOW ACTUAL… PAUL CROW “39”
LOW NET: MIKE WALKER “29” 5—HOLE: MIKE WALKER TEAM SKIN: CARRY OVER WIN FOR MIKE WALKER and JERRY CARLSON
Blade’s Slice: Who Done it?
It was whispered and rumored on the beer deck post-round that Snapper was left at the dock like a groom left at the altar, and helplessly watched from the dock as the pontoon slipped away from the shore towards home – with all aboard except him.
OH THE HUMANITY! Why? Who’s to blame? What happened to that Majestic dock dude, whose only job at that point in time was to safely escort all of the golfers on to the waiting vessel? What was he doing at the time of this tragedy? Stay tuned for the exciting conclusion to this mystery!
Congrats to Malyna, our most recent MBBOTW!
CASTAWAY UPDATE: “we were last group of 4 …all but me loaded up bags..I waited patiently for my turn to be invited aboard with my golf bag..man bag..accessory bag..
Beer can and phone in hand when Bill 12 inches ahead of me casted off lines..pushed the boat away and waved at everyone on board.”
Say it with me fellas….. A>>>S>>>>S>>>H>>>O>>>L>>>E!
(♫Cue the spooky music, black light strobe and smoke machine) Down, down in the deep, dark recesses of a mid-Michigan cellar – tucked against the cold and clamy cement foundation wall – a large cardboard box sits in inconspicuous obscurity. Inside the box are repurposed expandable accordion-style legal folders stuffed with papers. No, these are not the dead sea scrolls, and I am not an archeologist. I am a golf league transcriber known as DaBlade, and this… is Snapper Lore.
Reminder that there is no golf today, Thursday, July 3rd, 2025 in early celebration of our nation’s Independence Day. Cousin Mike is still incredulous that there is no golf the day before this holiday, when point of fact we did actually GOLF on Juneteenth. In any event, I thought a short trip down memory lane was in order for this off week.
Back in the beginning in 1988, the golf sheets were hand-written then xerox’d and passed out. Here is page 1 final standings sheet from 1989… (there ya go Chuck)
I might have a sheet from year one, but these pages aren’t exactly in order. Here are a couple more historical documents that have left indelible marks on the league…
We will leave it there for now. I will post more in the future, assuming that father time doesn’t completely disintegrate the remaining lore. We did eventually go digital (i forget the year) but here are a couple snapshots of early website pages…
State of the art stuff! Here is a later version complete with now broken links (from 2015 I think?)
That’s it for now. Thank you for your attention to this matter!
DISHONERABLE MENTION: RICK CARLSON on hole # 11….drive went OB…drop within range thanks to senior tees… 3rd shot 12 feet from flag… par putt wow…. Short…long…short…gimmie 4 putt for “7”…hmmmm????
BEER BABE OF WEEK :Congrats JOSIE!!
Blade’s Slice: Ricktorical question – WHO TURNED A PAR OUT INTO A TRIPLE BOGIE WITH A $ PUTT? CLICK HERE TO FIND OUT!!
CUDOS : CONGRATS! GREENIES: RICK NORTH and TONY T…. WAY TO GO! …
LOW ACTUAL… PAUL CROW WITH ANOTHER HO HUM “37” …nice!!
THAT SAID LET’S JUST CALL THE REST OF THE AWARDS CAM BARNETT DAY CUDOS
CAM WON: LOW NET “31”, 5-HOLE, TEAM SKIN WITH PARTNER CHRIS # 23
OH AND HAPPY JUNTEENTH (sp?)… HOPE NO ONE HAD TO GO TO THE BANK OR POST OFFICE ON THIS MEMORABLE HOLIDAY.
CONGRATS TO THIS WEEK’S MBBOTW WINNER, SOPHIA!
Blade’s Slice:
Golfteenth is not just some made-up holiday that is meant to divide golfers from non-golfers. Sure, it doesn’t have the rich history of having been created as an official Snapper League holiday dating all the way back to 2021 like some federal holidays. But I would contend that the game of golf has been played somewhere in the world on June 19th ever since the game of golf was invented in Scotland in the 15th century (and the fifth time the Snapper League has fallen on this date since it’s inception in 1988). It is my fervent hope and dream that some day, future generations of non-Snapper league members in this country will be forced to pay reparations in the amount of accumulated annual dues to our future generations. So in that spirit, have a happy Golfteenth!
In “honor” of this new holiday, I wrote a new song. And now it’s time for this week’s musical interlude with a 100% original tune that I call… “Like a Rolling Bridgestone” (any similarities to any Bob Dylan tune is strictly coincidental)
♫ Once upon a time you golfed so fine ♫ ♪ Marked your ball with a dime in your prime ♬ Didn’t you ♬ ♫ Then you putt the ball and it won’t fall, opponents cat-call, ♪ Does your husband golf too? ♪ ♬ You thought they were just kidding you ♫ You thought you’d get the last laugh with the next drive ♪ Slicing into the woods on the par five ♬ And now you don’t walk so proud ♫ Now you don’t talk so loud ♪ ♪ About having to be scrounging ♬ Your next meal ♬
[Chorus] ♫ How does it feel ♬ ♪ How does it feel ♪ ♬ To be on your own ♬ ♫ With no direction home ♪ ♪ A complete unknown ♪ ♬ Just like a rolling Bridgestone ♪
CUDOS : CONGRATS! GREENIES: CHRIS CARLSON & KEITH BROWN…. WAY TO GO! … 5-HOLE: JASON WOLFENDEN TEAM SKIN: 3 week skin pot broken by team Wolf/JWolf h both parred the par 3 12th ho;e…….Birdies???? Just 1 for SHANG 1 for KEITH….
… Paul with another Low actual and Yours truly – Rick Carlson & Tony T “36” with a Low Net.
NO FANFARE RULE CHANGE: Beginning week 5 and from hereafter all seniors (age 70 and older) tee off from the GOLD TEES also known as and aptly named by the golf course as “SENIOR TEES”. This privilege of age will not extend to the par 3 holes as those under the age of 70 and stronger and longer Snappers wish to continue their greenie dominance over the Seniors and do not believe they could comfortably do it if the seniors were allowed to move up within possibility range for them. SO all play whites on PAR 3s.
Blade’s Slice:
Congratulations to this week’s Majestic Beer Babe of the Week winners (Our first Trio!)
First is Chelsea, her second win in 2025!
Next we have a first time winner – Malyna!
Last but not least, congrats to Lizzie!
IN OTHER NEWS – Regarding Snapper’s single-handed authoritarian rule change that 70+ year-olds get to move up to the senior tees…. Here’s yer Senior tee!
In “honor” of this change, I wrote a new song. And now it’s time for this week’s musical interlude with a 100% original tune that I call… “The Senior Tees” (any similarities to any Bob Seger tune is strictly coincidental) ♫ Against the wind ♫ ♬ Always drivin’ against the wind ♬ ♪ No longer young and strong, Always drivin’ against the wind ♪ ♬ The ball rolled slowly past ♬ ♬ And I found myself alone ♪ Surrounded by strangers I thought were my friends ♪ ♬ I found myself further and further from the hole, and I ♬ Guess I lost my way ♬ ♪ There were oh-so-many trees ♪ ♬ I was living to run and running to live ♬ Never worried about putting or even how many strokes I owed ♪ Moving eight yards a minute for swings at a time ♪ ♬ Breaking all of the Snapper rules that would bend ♬ I began to find myself searching ♪ Searching for gold tees again and again ♬ Against the wind ♬ Always drivin’ against the wind ♬ ♪ No longer young and strong, Always drivin’ against the wind ♪
IN CONCLUSION – I don’t mind playing the white tees. However, I propose a new rule that all of those individuals under 50 have to play from the Black Tees. That’s “Under a 50 AVERAGE” not under the age of 50. Stay tuned for the vote tally…
5-HOLE: KEITH BROWN after a multihole carry over was broken
TEAM SKIN: 2 week carry over…….Birdies???? Not that many…. We had Grant Stahley…Chris Carlson and Timmy K each with 1 and Paul Crow scored 2!!!!
Surprise surprise 2 of these guys birdies to low scores for the league… Paul with another Low actual and Chris with a Low Net.
HOW MANY SNAPPERS IN LEAGUE EVER? (DIFFERENT GUYS)
WEEKLY HINT: TIMMY KACHELSKI & YOURS TRULY (ME!) ARE ONLY 2 LEAGUE MEMBERS TO PLAY EACH & EVERY YEAR… IF ANYONE WANTS TO COLLECT A POOL FOR CLOSEST TO GUESS LET ME KNOW OR I WILL SIMPLY REVEAL THE # NEXT WEEK.
Conrats to Josie, the Majestic Beer Babe of the Week! (pictured with Tony “Ten Beers” )
Blade’s Slice:
Remember that old western movie about Miss Kitty runnin’ a horse-drawn saloon cart over the prairy?
The Beer Babe Josie’s Ales (not to be confused with the movie The Outlaw Josey Wales)
Narrator: The mobile saloon cart always seemed to show up in the middle of a gun fight. Should we wave her through and wait, or just start spraying errant shots for lack of concentration?
Now remember, when things look bad and it looks like you’re not gonna make it, then you gotta get mean. I mean plumb, mad-dog mean. ‘Cause if you lose your head and you give up, then you neither drive nor win. That’s just the way it is. Wait, what he…!
Anonymous thirsty golfer: “I got the gold right here, Pa!” Josie The Beer Girl: I ain’y yer Pa! And dyin’ of thirst ain’t much of a living, boy.
Josie The Beer Girl: Every spring when the grass turns green, the Snapper League returns every Thursday. Ten Beers: These things you say we will have, we already have. Josie The Beer Girl: That’s true. I ain’t promising you nothing extra. I’m just giving you beer and you’re giving me a tip. And I’m saying that men can golf together without butchering one another.
When your pardner 3-putts: You get them holes leakin I’m gonna whomp you with a knotted plow line…
Majestic Snappers Golf League 