[Golf Sheet / Week 8 (June 27, 2024) – 6/20 Results]<-click

Snapper Bites:

GREENIES:  Art  Kadlitz and Nick Cooper

5 HOLE:  Dave “Shooter” Keeton

TEAM SKINS:    Steve Markunas and Tim Kachelski scooped up a “twofer” on hole # 6

SCRATCH SKIN WINNERS???  Two of em …Nick Cooper  #18 and Dave “Shooter” Keeton… on #15 then also on #17

OTHER BIRDS?  ..yep Matt Keenan on # 18 (didn’t pa..didnt play??)

So  I may have mentioned the word  “EAGLE” in last weeks sheet….and….what does  somebody with a nickname (I just gave him) of “SHOOTER” do??????? BOOM!!!!  ….Down goes par 5  hole #  15!!!!!…. like it was FRAZAH v ALI!!!!……AOTD: None

Blade’s Slice:

Tonight is presidential debate night, so in that spirit, I thought it would be fitting to take this opportunity for a public service reminder. Remember, it is perfectly ok to form a “Last Hole Gallery” and then meet on the beer deck post-round – as long as you are meeting “Peacefully and Patriotically.”  But you should always keep a lookout for certain pests while on the golf course. Pests like ticks, chiggers, earwigs, snakes, and undercover Feds in polo shirts trying to stir up trouble while blaming real Snappers for their shenanigans.

“But how can I tell if a douchebag in a polo is an undercover fed?,” you might ask.  Well, I’ll tell ya…

If the dude is trying to get you to go into the sand trap – he might not be a real Snapper.

Or hydrating with water bottles? – They might not be real Snappers.

…Or If Stormy Daniels drives up in the beer cart… she is not a real beer babe.

GO SNAPPERS! (and MAGA! – Make America Golf Again!)

[Golf Sheet / Week 7 (June 20, 2024) – 6/13 Results]<-click

SNAPPER BITES:

GREENIES:  Grant Stahley   and Nick Cooper

5 HOLE:  Dave “Supersub” Nowaczyk Jr,

TEAM SKINS:    Steve Markunas and Tim Kachelski scooped up a “twofer” on hole # 6

SCRATCH SKIN WINNERS???  Two of em …Timmy K on hole # 6…Shang on #1…

OTHER BIRDS?  ..yep Kyle o and Grant n # 4…So I told Nick ….”NO EAGLES yet”…so he bombed his drive on  par 5 number 2…then pounded a fairway wood/rescue to the back of the very fast green……he did not make the putt …..he did not have a birdie putt coming back as he went off the green front ….he did end up with a nice PAR 5…

BLADE’S SLICE:

Now that everyone has had time to study the History of the Snappers Leage linked last week, it is time for a POP QUIZ.

Q: WHICH SNAPPER LEAGUE MEMBER HAS THE DUBIOUS DISTINCTION OF HAVING THE MOST PARTNERS WHO HAVE QUIT ON HIM?

Hint – He has had 14 partner changes, when counting “partner re-treads” – Answer: Timmy K!
Partners, Past & Present: Steve Markunas 1988-90, 1993, 2020-present, Dave Wolfenden 1991, 1995-2000, Todd Johnson 1992, Dave Markunas 1994, Tony Do 2001-2002, Chris Carlson 2003, Jason Wolfenden 2004-2006, Larry Lambaria 2007, Mark Blevins 2008-2011,Bob Baumann 2012-2017, Mike Bloomfield 2018-2019.

CONGRATS TO PAIGE, THE MBBOTW! (but first, a song)

QUIZ QUESTION #2: WHAT NEVER SEEMS TO DISINTEGRATE? ANSWER: TIMMY’S OSU SHIRT.

GO SNAPPERS!!

[Golf Sheet / Week 7 (June 13, 2024) – 6/6 Results]<-click

[SNAPPER HISTORY 1988-2024]<-click

Snapper Bites:

GREENIES:  Paul “Sniper Ogi” Oginski took both of em…

5 HOLE:  Rick Carlson  eeked out  the award with a net “2”… “YEAH HANDICAP!!!!”

TEAM SKINS:    hole number 20 was drawn  hole # 20 was immediately cut…

SCRATCH SKIN WINNERS???  $33 each……Coop reports Steve Markunas birdie on # 25….JWolf birdie on  #  26 and himself   with birdie on #  27….  Mike Lingo and Dave Keeton both birdied #24  so  “NO SOUP FOR YOU”,,,

NO EAGLES yet….wazzup with that?

NICE  JOB everyone including Dave  “this game is easy”Keeton throwing a Par 36 round at us..

AOTD: NICK COOPER… CONGRATS TO  NICK from going without any Balls at all to getting  a Pair by winning AOTD in consecutive weeks…..his offense this week?::  GROSS BREACH OF TRUST….Witnessed with his right hand over his heart and  his left hand with fingers clearly crossed behind his back NICK declared in his most earnest voice “ I GIVE YOU MY WORD!” when Mike Romo “Card Captain” for his team for the night  asked him to turn his official score card in for him so he could leave early and attend to personal business (attending to a sick mother….or walking a constipated dog…or  catching the 10 pm broadcast of a Gunsmoke rerun ) who cares what it was…Romo a longtime league member appreciates the sacred and solemn responsibility of being a weekly Card Captain….with Nick’s apparent acknowledgement of the   trust exhibited in this handoff which   Romo could have chosen any number of people for but no…he entrusted Nick with the responsibility… No sooner had Nick driven his golf cart to the bagdrop  did he deposit said Furey/Romo official scorecard into the nearest trash receptacle… A Majestic employee rushing to wipe his clubs for him swore she heard him chucking to himself …  No this did not result in Furey and Romo forfeiting their points as been threatened of previous year Card Captains as an unnamed Snapper reached in  and rescued the scorecard wiping the mustard off and turning it in…Congrats Nick…( see whatb  I mean Dave Keeton…an AOTD win  requires only a nomination, a story being the truth…the whole truth…a modicum of truth and nothing but some truth followed by a majority vote of those present  ASSHOLE!

Blade’s Slice:

GOLFER#1: Do you want the good news or the bad news first?
GOLFER#2: Give me the good news!
GOLFER#1: We are scheduled to tee off first tonight.
GOLFER#2: Awesome! I’ve always wondered how it would feel to be first off and before the entire clubhouse grounds were vacant. This is GREAT NEWS! What could possibly go wrong now? I’M FIRST OFF! Go ahead with your bad news, cuz nothing can bring me down now!
GOLFER#1: We’re waiting for Timmy.

And last but not least, please join me in congratulating this week’s Majestic Beer Babe of the Week!

We got skins winners,
We got AOTD losers
Cigar smokers & boozers
...

GO SNAPPERS 2024!

(this week we start a new skins pot)

[Golf Sheet / Week 6 (June 6, 2024) – 5/30 Results]<-click

CUDOS TO   WINNERS OF COOP’S SCRATCH SKINS WHOEVER THEY ARE (see Below)

 Birdies  by   ………Larry Cooper # 17……Steve Starnes # 18….Dave Keeton # 16…..are these skin winners????  Probably….(See Below)  NICE  JOB BOYS!

AOTD: NICK COOPER…CONGRATS TO OUR 1^st Asshole of the Day this year.. For “TKing” the scorecards….Nick offered to help his dad figure the skins..for that the official scorecards are reviewed..in cooperation with the Carlsons who also require use of the official scorecards   at the time for figuring the weekly game winners and later to record the official stats.. WE SHARE..but Nick for some reason probably having to do with overexuberance due to  team CARLSON /BARNETT  winners of a 5 week carry over team net skin worth $250 offering to “share the wealth” in the form of Timmy K’s best kind of beer…what’s that you say:???:  FREE BEER!!! Anyway speaking of Timmy K … Senior Snapper League Members and those reading the archives online know that one person stands out from all the others in his apparent disrespect for  our official scorecards defacing, debilitating and defecating on  same before turned in so that any information to be gleaned from review of same is questionable at best …but back to NICK…whether it was beer, water, drool, piss or otherwise NICK turned the official scorecards back into the Carlsons when he was finished helping dad. F##KING SOAKING WET!!! So Nick  TK’d our  official scorecards and wins a golf ball… WHY does he get a ball ? you say new guys? READ THE RULES ….

GREENIES:  CHRIS CARLSON and DAVE KEETON

5 HOLE: DJ HOCHENSTEIN with a par net “3”

TEAM SKINS:    hole number 12 was drawn …CHRIS $ CAM scored a net “4” on the par 3..for 250 smackaroonies…

Have You Tried Downey Rinse & Refresh?

Snapper: These cards are unacceptable!

Nick: Tell me whyyy!

Snapper: Because they are soaking wet!

GO SNAPPERS!!!

 

[Golf Sheet / Week 5 (May 30, 2024) – 5/23 Results]<-click

Snapper Bites:

CUDOS TO WINNERS OF COOP’S SCRATCH SKINS:

 Birdies: DJ Hochenstein #2, Nick Cooper #6, Jason Wolfenden #7… NICE JOB BOYS!

Other birdies???…   TIMMY K… Matt Keenan  & sub Greg Cohen # 4… then on #7 Matt Keenan

AOTD: NONE

GREENIES: JWOLF & TIMMY K

5 HOLE: CHRIS CARLSON while laying a low net “33” on us ripped through the  5 hole !!!

WAY TO GO CMONEY!!!!

Team skins hole number 1 was drawn …cut and cut. The pot carries over to next week. $250!!!!!

Congratulations to Chelsea, this week’s Majestic Beer Babe!

DaBlade’s Slice:

The goal of bocce ball is to roll your team’s bocce balls closer to the pallino, or jack, than your opponent’s balls. Rick, Ken and I got the memo, as our towering drives ended up in a line reminescent of the Blue Angel’s Diamond formation and within roughly a club length from each other. DJ must not have received the memo, as his drive ended up well past our precision shots. How embarrassing!

GO SNAPPERS 2024!!

How did she burn the other one off? They called back!

[Golf Sheet / Week 4 (May 23, 2024) – 5/16 Results]<-click

Snapper Bites:

CUDOS TO   WINNERS OF COOP’S SCRATCH SKINS: (SUBS  AND GUYS NAMED STEVE WON ALMOST EVERYTHING)

 Birdies  by   ………Tony Stipcak  #20……Art Kadlitz #25 ……..Steve Markunas  #26… GO SUBS!

Other birdies???…….Sure   Nick Cooper & Steve Starnes on # 22…then on #23??? Almost everybody birdied…….Art Kadlitz…Steve Markunas …Mike Romo and Jason Wolfenden…….

Starnes & Nick cut each other on # 24 CONGRATS EVERYONE

EAGLES????? Nope……  not yet

AOTD: NONE

GREENIES:  Kevin Stutzman  and Steve Starnes

5 HOLE:   Steve Markunas survived a 4 person tie breaker over multiple holes  !!!

Team skins hole number 24 was drawn and cut. The pot carries over to next week. $200!!!!!AND THE 1^st 2024 BEER BABE is …… SOPHIA!!

DaBlade’s Corner:

“Hey ‘Blade, what gives? Why the Helen Kellar joke in the headline this week?,” you’re probably not asking. Well, I’ll tell you anyway.

Having taken off a few years of league play, the first thing I noticed my first week back was that they changed around the furniture (which reminded my of the Helen Kellar joke: How did her parents punish her… you got the rest). And then I proceeded to golf like I was blind, though I do hope to have my game back to a finely tuned mid-50s before long.

“So what do you think about the re-model to the clubhouse grounds and surrounding beer deck, with the inclusion of the WWII II anti-tank obstacles and prominent perimeter berms reminesent of the “Battle of the Bulge” that prevent a convenient cart ingress & egress to your parked vehicle?”-

Speaking of the battle of the bulge, the extra steps won’t hurt anyone, and it does look fancy – although I do miss the old ferry boat that was dry-docked and serving as a waiting area for the cart limo.

Have a great Memorial Day Weekend, and always remember and be thankful for those who gave the ultimate sacrifice so we can enjoy our freedoms.

How did Helen Keller pierce her ear? Answering the stapler.

GO SNAPPERS 2024!!!

…but I stand corrected.

[Golf Sheet / Week 3 (May 16, 2024) – 5/9 Results]<-click

SBITES  (aka Snapper Bites)  5/9

OK NEW GUYS WANNA KNOW THE RULES?  OR MAYBE THE HNDCP SYSTEM so you can figure out your scorecard before ya turn it in?   (Click the “Snapper Rules” link above)

CUDOS TO   WINNERS OF COOP’S SCRATCH SKINS:

 Birdies  by   Brian Waltz  #17  Dave Nowaczyk # 14  Cooper #5 and Tony Stipcak  # 13

There were other birdies – Nick Cooper and Dave Keeton cut each other on # 18

AOTD: NONE

GREENIES:  Larry Cooper and Steve Markunas

5 HOLE:   Dave Nowaczyk

Team skins hole number 11 was drawn and cut. The pot carries over to next week.

YEAREND OUTING:   Mark Your Calendars for the 1^st Sunday after Labor Day always…

this year SEPTEMBER 8, 2024…Last Year Calderone CC… prior was Atlas Valley CC then Grande CC & Davison CC I think…. A full list of past events on website at the end of the rules…

CARE TO SUGGEST A COURSE FOR THIS YEAR????

GO SNAPPERS 2024!!!

[Golf Sheet / Week 1 (May 2, 2024) – HERE WE GO…]<-click
(updated link – added schedule snip. You may need to refresh)

Navin R. Johnson: The ashtray, the remote control, the paddle game, and this magazine, and the chair… And I don’t need one other thing… except this golf league! And that’s all I neeed.

Getting close…6 days opening day for league…and we are now uneven teams. Darin and Josh decided they are not coming back…so we will be forced to have 1 two man team /week play against nobody and score points against a blind score. If anybody knows of 2 guys wanting to join the league – lemme know (HURRY). Otherwise unless we redo the schedule if you are scheduled against Darin you are the 2some for the week playing without opponents.

The last movie-inspired headline of the year (maybe) inspired by The Guns of Navarone, starring Gregory Peck, David Niven & Anthony Quinn. The plot is either about an elite Allied cammando unit trying to destroy a German pillbox OR a group of ragtag misfits daisy-bombing an otherwise prestine green pasture with small & dimpled speres.

Just like your first day of school, I will be handing out the syllabus and other dittos up front so you have a medium to deface while I prattle on.

[Final Golf Sheet 2023 – 8/31 Results ]<-click for printable pdf

[2023 Calderone Golf Scramble Info/Rules]<-click

[2023 Scramble Team 4-somes]<-click

[23 raffle sign]<-click

[Snappers Champions Hall of Fame]<-click

Did you get all that? and now a word from our president…

BRING CASH:
$25 per person for greenies and skins
$25 -$40 per person for raffle
(15 prizes …between only 32 guys ….you can win multiple times)
thanks RAC

Some time pre-round at the Calderone Golf club: (unknown golfer) “But Ricky, nobody told me that I needed CASH! I don’t read that website stuff. I just look at the pictures. What do you mean you won’t take a check? Do you have one of them ATM cash machines in your manbag?”

No, Ricky doesn’t have an ATM, but you can find one now just 5 minutes away at Mugg & Bopps (3864 Mt Hope Rd, 49240). Top off the tank, get a coffee and a fistfull of dollars. No guarantee the ATM is working (or that it’s full of cash) so I wouldn’t make this your Plan A.

So in conclusion, CONGRATS to this year’s regular season Snapper Champions, Darin Craine and Josh Cook. The pdf is included in a link above, but here is the full list of past champions…

SNAPPER GOLF LEAGUE HALL OF FAME

2023          Darin Craine          Josh Cook

2022          Jamie Leece                Herb Green

2021          Jamie Leece                Herb Green

2020          Larry Cooper               Tom Harrison

2019          Jamie Leece                Herb Green

2018          Dave Furey                  Mike Romanowski

2017          Dave Furey                  Mike Romanowski

2016          Larry Cooper                Tom Harrison

2015          Larry Cooper                Tom Harrison

2014          Jamie Leece                Herb Green

2013          Chris Carlson               Dave Miteer

2012          Larry Cooper                Ken Hochstein

2011          Jamie Leece                Herb Green

2010         Matt Wojdylak              Paul Wojdylak

2009          Chris Carlson               Dave Mitteer

2008          Jamie Leece                Paul Throesch

2007          Scott Cowan                Steve Peltier

2006          Scott Cowan                Steve Peltier

2005          Dave Wolfenden          Steve Markunas

2004          Dave Wolfenden          Steve Markunas

2003          Mike Rehbein               Steve Burroughs

2002          Gary Fulgham              Mark Blevins

2001          Rick Bailey                   Mike Kennedy

2000          Bernie Cason               Rob Ruhstorfer

1999          Gary Fulgham              Mark Blevins

1998          Gary Fulgham              Mark Blevins

1997          Scott Cowan                Steve Peltier

1996          Jon Wiley                      Brad Fell

1995          Gary Fulgham              Mark Blevins

1994          Greg Carlson               Jim Walker

1993          Tom Terrien                 Barry Barkiewicz

1992          Mike Hayden               Barry Barkiewicz

1991          Greg Carlson               Jim Walker

1990          Ken Tomasek              Stan Keeler

1989          Chuck Fenner              Pat Pettigrew

1988          Floyd Vickery               Richard Schaefer

GO SNAPPERS!!!