1st Night is Thursday May 6, 2021 5pm
SET UP YOUR POS CREDIT CARD/DEBIT CARD ACCOUNT FOR COURSE PURCHASES & DISCOUNTS NOW PLEASE!!!!
THANK YOU TO THOSE OF YOU WHO HAVE PREPAID YOUR DUES……I HAVE THEM ON ACCOUNT AND YOU DO NOT HAVE TO STAND IN LINE WITH EVERYONE ELSE TO PAY ME CASH ON NIGHT #1….NOT THAT I MIND THAT…..YOU ARE TO BE PAID IN FULL THE 1st NIGHT AND I APPRECIATE EVERYONE COMING TO ME RATHER THAN MAKING ME COME TO YOU…..BUT
YOU CAN STILL MAIL ME A CHECK OR BETTER YET SEND ME YOUR MONEY IN A SIMPLE FREE ELECTRONIC FUND TRANSFER YOUR BANK ACCOUNT TO MINE VIA VENMO.
WE HAVE A SUB LIST….FOR EXAMPLE DAVE LAWLESS WHO HAS BEEN IN THIS LEAGUE SINCE THE BEGINNING AND RELUCTANTLY BOWED OUT THIS YEAR AS A REGULAR DUE TO THE DEATH OF HIS FRIEND AND PARTNER OUR OW BELOVED “PIC PIC” WOULD LIKE ME TO INFORM YOU ALL OF 2 THINGS:
1) HE WOULD LOVE TO BE ASKED BY ANY OF YOU TO SUB THROUGHOUT THE YEAR (you can reach him thru me if not directly)….. and
2) HE WILL BE AT LEAGUE ON MAY 6 2021 to golf as an extra/pacer and INTENDS TO PURCHASE THE LEAGUE A ROUND OF DRINKS AT THE END FOR A FAREWELL PIC PIC TOAST…
IF YOU NEED A SUB OF COURSE BRING YOUR OWN BUT BETWEEN JAMIE AND MYSELF WE KNOW HOW TO REACH ALOT OF GUYS WHO HAVE SUBBED OR BEEN LEAGUE MEMBERS IN THE PAST…CALL US….TEXT US…
GO SNAPPERS 2021!!! See yas soon……l.
RICK CARLSON
Remembering Bill ‘Pic Pic’ Cape. (by: Jerry)
I always looked forward to the weeks we were scheduled to play against my long-time buddy, Bill, and his golf partner Dave., for I knew there would be nothing but laughter and fun the entire night. They’ve been known by many monikers – early on as “the MacKenzie Brothers” for their constant banter back and forth reminiscent of the famous “hoser” Great White North Canadian tv brothers from by gone days. They have been called “The Budweiser Twins” due to the full ‘tool box’ of their favorite beverage, and even compared to the Skipper (Dave) and his l’il buddy Gilligan (Bill). I had the pleasure of introducing Bill to the league and playing with him as his golf partner at Tyrone for the first few years in the late 80s and early 90s (until he dumped me for Dave). He loved playing hot into that large netting that protected the parking lot (on #9?) because the ball would drop by the green. The last hole was “the coffee hole”, of which Bill won more than his fair share. The 100-yard fairway putts… “ROUTINE!” the looong ball address waggles, as the cigarette ash dangled precariously over his teed ball (like a Angelo’s fry cook over the burger patty) Every memory I have of my friend Bill brings a smile and I am going to miss him tremendously. I dipped into the AOTD archives and grabbed some of my favorite highlights from over the years. If there was anyone who has embraced the spirit of the AOTD award, it was Bill. Enjoy! – Jerry
Bill Cape feigning nonchalance at having won the 5 hole and apparently enamored with the high stakes skin pot looked scornfully at the handful of dollar bills presented to him and rolled his eyes as if the $26 was not worth his effort
June, 2012 – AND THE WINNER IS… BILL “Pic Pic” Cape for extreme ingratitude. Now understand that as a longtime Snapper, Bill has taken it upon himself to assist the many new guys this year to fully understand the spirit of our league in our loose rules to make the game of golf more enjoyable and less oppressive. So last week, playing against new guys Harrison & Hamon, Bill found himself in a not uncommon circumstance after hitting his 1st shot (according to partner Lawless) into the shit, then (also according to Lawless) hitting at least his 2nd shot and perhaps his 3rd shot into the shit, Bill is now definitely in the shit. Surveying the situation, he realized that there were pickery thingys about him making the “snow angels” option uncomfortable (and having left his pruning shears in the cart too far away to retrieve) Bill decided on a combination of two tricks he uses on occasion First came the old “Stamp down your feet all around the hazard with baby steps” then the “delay your next shot as long as it takes” to get some relief offered from your opponents. This one is usually used on the green when Bill fumbles in his pocket feigning inability to find a coin to mark his ball in his opponents line. FINALLY, after an eternity as Harrison/Hamon feared groups of Snappers would begin stacking at the tee behind them, they announced in unison, “GO AHEAD and move your ball out a little. We are not that serious about scoring”. Bill quickly accepted, picking up his ball and throwing it several feet to safety and snarled back at them: “It took you long enough!” For this exclamation, Pic Pic was voted AOTD.
ASSHOLE OF THE DAY, June 16, 2011: Dishonorable Mentions:
Bill Cape, for driving the passenger tires of his golf cart erratically over large landscape rocks which were placed precariously beside the paved cart path near the worker’s booth just outside of the clubhouse prior to the round. When “John” the shuttle driver objected, Bill feigned a back and neck injury, boisterously complaining the fact that there were no warning signs of “ROCKS NEXT TO CART PATH AHEAD”. “Why are there no arrows or reflectors clearly marking this hazard?,” inquired Bill. Darren answered this question with his own, “Don’t the large rocks mark themselves?” To which Bill retorted, “Obviously the safety of the customers are not a top priority,” as he rubbed the back of his neck and dangling the prospects of a class action as bait in a feeble attempt to get Nakes to take the case. “Besides, I was distracted by my partner Dave’s yelling,” to which Jamie responded, “Yeah, he was yelling ‘WATCH OUT FOR THE ROCKS'”. Jamie also made the point that Bill had no business piloting a cart at the clubhouse prior to the boatride to the starting tenth tee. Partner Dave successfully argued that they shouldn’t be expected to walk the 20 feet from the booth the the shuttle pickup in front of the beer boat
ASSHOLE OF THE DAY:, July 23, 2009: Bill Cape for behavior unbecoming of a Snapper.
Upon collecting, Paul wanted to show the Snappers his appreciation for their accumulative inability to push the skins pot again by buying a round of drinks. As the waitress went around of table shouts of “Hieneken”, “Sam Adams” and the like were rattled off in rapid order. When she reached Bill Cape he politely waved her off saying, “I’m good”. An awkward silence immediately fell over the table, followed by many emphatic reminders from fellow Snappers that “the best kind of beer is…. FREE BEER!” The only defense offered by “Pic-Pic” was that he was only trying to be polite, which of course was summarily dismissed by the Snappers.
July, 2007 – Honorable Mention to Bill Cape who came to the clubhouse proudly with two count em two what he calls replacement balls for others he unfortunately cannot find. Both of these balls were said by Lawless to have been deep enough in the woods that no one but Bill would venture there, there being no normal reason to do so. But Bill knew that if his ball were to be found it would be found deep and he just can’t afford to not even look hole after hole. This time he comes out from the 20 minute or so search and rescue mission with two, count em two replacements and to make it even better he knows who the previous owners were -one ball having “Shang” embossed in blue sharpie and the other with a preprinted scales of justice and “Carlson Attorney” logo. Rubbing their noses in it, Shang just smiled and shook his head but Snapper appeared incredulous when exclaiming: “Bill, I put that ball there for advertising! you already know I’m a lawyer – I would have paid you $20 to leave it there.” Bill didn’t buy it and proudly posed for a pretentious photo of the pilfered prizes.
june 3, 2004 – Bill received a unanimous vote to win the 2nd AOTD award in 2004. Here are the facts as I know them. Dave asked his partner for the yardage on an approach shot, and Bill answered by stating that Dave had 125 yards to the hole. Dave selected a club based on Bill’s yardage response, and struck it well, flying directly over the flagstick, landing 20-some yards long of the green! “There’s no way I hit my 9-iron 140 yards!,” exclaimed Dave. “Maybe that red thing (brick) means 100 yards after all,” answered Bill. Whether Bill purposely provided his partner with false yardage information, or he really thought that the red bricks were 125-yard markers, we may never know. I think we can all agree that Bill is deserving of the AOTD in either case. We might also suggest that Dave open his eyes on occasion!
Asshole-of-the-Day, September 4, 2004 -Cape paced the green as he pretended to line up his 5-foot putt, but in reality he was in “gimmee putt” (pick-pick) mode. Bill began to use every tried-and-true, battle-tested method he’d employed in the past to successfully secure a “pick-pick.” Bill must have been thinking about the cost effective award, as he skillfully argued, pleaded, then shamelessly begged for permission to pocket this 5-footer. Finally, his finely honed gimmee skills must have tired his opponents, and the pick-pick was granted. The only problem was, Cape’s masterful display was wasted as he realized that he had already maxed the hole out (invoking the “double par + 1” a/k/a: 7/11 rule).
August 7, 2003 – Bill and Dave won the first team asshole-of-the-day award two weeks ago, when they showed up to the golf course wearing nametags. They were scheduled to play Fulgham and Blevins, and Gary had mistakenly called Bill “Dave” and Dave “Bill” a few times during a round earlier in the season (and all involved having been league members continuously for over a decade).
No problem so far. This was actually a considerate gesture, helping out a seasoned member of our league. I mean, you wouldn’t call a boyscout an “asshole” for gently taking an elderly woman’s elbow and slowly helping her cross the street, right? But what if the elderly lady suffered from alzheimer’s and the boyscout left her on an unfamiliar corner (in the country) to see if she could find her way home?
That’s the best analogy I can think of to explain the cold-hearted and callous act of what came next. Sometime during the round, Dave and Bill Surreptitiously switched nametags to confuse and bewilder Gary. Shame!
6/8/00 (week 6) Steve Markunas wins for allowing himself to be duped by the Snapper’s own version of Abbott and Costello, our very own con men, Cape and Lawless. Steve was rightfully feeling pretty good about himself after his round of 39, having broke the notorious “40 barrier”. Bill and Dave feigned disbelief and demanded proof by proposing Steve call out his hole-by-hole score and they would answer with the running total. Steve agreed, and started the process by shouting “four and three”! Bill and Dave responded with a “Seven”. “Five” said Steve. “Thirteen”, exclaimed the boys. Steve continued his hole-by-hole score, unaware that an extra stroke had surreptitiously been added to his total. When Steve proudly reached his score on hole #9 and inevitably the total was “40”, his sails deflated. 40 is still a good score, but not when you are expecting a 39. Would Chuck Yeager have been satisfied had he traveled only 1,115 feet per second? That’s pretty fast, but as every Snapper realizes, the speed of sound is 1,116 feet per second (at sea level and at 59degrees F).
Bill Cape was runner-up when, upon arriving to the course, pulled his vehicle into a parking spot clearly marked by a “Reserved for Golf Professional” sign. Bill’s defense was that he felt the sign was “kind of vague” since it didn’t actually name a particular golf professional. Even his own partner, Dave Lawless, wasn’t buying it when he rhetorically asked “what was your score again tonight Bill?”
Tim Kachelski makes it close for “removing his golf glove to take a piss”. According to Bill Cape, it made the entire group uncomfortable, and Bill was visibly shaken in the clubhouse hours later.
Dave Wolfenden, for denying “pick picks” between his own partner and an opponent, when they had already agreed upon the exchange. (of course it involved Cape, who else?)
August 12, 1999 A.O.T.D. – Bill Cape (2 weeks in a row!) Bill started “fluffing up” what he thought to be his ball (advancing it several yards down field). During this process, there were angry “high pitched” shouts of “THAT’S MY BALL!” from the women’s league that had been waiting patiently behind them until then. Bill checked and sure enough, his “Flying Lady” was a different number.
7/23/98 Week 11 award is a split between Dave Lawless and Bill Cape for their varying accounts of how their cart ended up ramming poor old defenseless Gary Fulgham’s cart (a long time elderly league member). Bill was behind the wheel, but he would have us believe that Dave became impatient with Bill’s safety precautions, resulting in Dave recklessly stepping on the accelerator and causing the crash. Dave’s contention is that HE was concerned for the safety and well being of his partner when he gently engaged the pedal in an attempt to get the cart away from the front of the green and incoming shots. According to Dave, the situation became precarious when Bill became disoriented and viciously turned the wheel into poor old Mr. Fulgham’s cart.
6/8/94 -Dishonorable mention goes to Bill Cape. It was learned after the official AOTD vote that, when questioned why he was marking his ball decidedly closer to the hole, Bill explained that it was common practice to take a flag sticks distance. (this was, of course, the par 3 greenie winner)1993- A.O.T.D. – Bill Cape, for paying $240 (to date) towards the $220 total league dues.
Majestic Snappers Golf League 